12-26-2016, 08:28 PM
I hope everyone had a great holiday. (Well, I don't know I am tempted to say Merry Christmas, but I must have been too influenced by political correctness. Nevertheless, saying happy holidays do not bother me, even though I am raised as a Catholic.)
Let's start with DMSI report. Am I getting anywhere near the goal? Not really, because I am not noticing girls/women sending me an interest of sex, date, or whatever to me. May they are sending signals, but it is not noticeable to me that it isn't yet achieving the goal. Because, if I am not mistaken, the goal of DMSI was for the people of gender that I am attracted to to initiate sex with me, or to send a very clear signal(s) that is noticeable to the sub user. This isn't happening yet, so I say I'm not near the goal of DMSI.
Then why am I writing this post, when nothing hasn't really changed? I suppose I realized (or maybe re-realized) something interesting about me.
So yesterday, I got invited to a family friend's Christmas dinner. Even though I described myself as a family friend, I am more like a guest to the entire family. (I'm only a family friend to the host. The rest of them, I don't know too well. It's complicated and too private to share, so I will just leave it here.)
One thing I realized is that when it comes to talking about celebrity issues, gossips, I can't talk about anything. In fact, I really can't handle it, and I can't take talking about celebrity issues or gossips. I praise myself to be able to hold myself in tact when the topic came up for a bit.
The second thing I realized is that when it comes to having small talks about daily lives, I can't really talk about it either. I suppose it is also because that they are a family, while I am a guest, yet, the same thing happens at the school. Since I can't have small talks about daily lives, or can follow them, I feel that the ridge between myself and other students get deeper as time progresses. (It is a mystery to me why they can do that, how they become friends, and share their daily lives.) Another reason I think that is the case may be that I really don't have any daily life going on other than doing homework/school work, watching BBC world news, documentaries, game streaming, and playing games.
However, what is interesting is that I almost always have great conversations with uber/lyft drivers. I find that there are topics that I talk more often than others, but the topics vary very differently. It can be about talking about different cultures, different parts of the world to technology, politics, society, and etc. It's also that I don't direct the topics or the flow of conversation. I goes naturally, bouncing back and forth, and it just flows to different directions. I'm curious to see what the difference is between small daily talks to my conversation with uber/lyft drivers.
Another thing I noticed is that when I am asked by a person (a few family member talked to me directly), I do well, and if the topic shifts to something I have more interest in, or stuff I know well, I do very well. Not only that, I also somehow manage to bring the conversation from topic A to topic B with great connection, even if they seem at first not connected to one or another. (In the case that both topic A and B are related.)
I believe these are results of ASD, but it was quite amusing to re-realize the issues, to reflect, and think about it.
I see some work or areas where there can be improvement, and hopefully my running DMSI can help in that area. (Well, it would also be very helpful if its intended goal were to come.)
Let's start with DMSI report. Am I getting anywhere near the goal? Not really, because I am not noticing girls/women sending me an interest of sex, date, or whatever to me. May they are sending signals, but it is not noticeable to me that it isn't yet achieving the goal. Because, if I am not mistaken, the goal of DMSI was for the people of gender that I am attracted to to initiate sex with me, or to send a very clear signal(s) that is noticeable to the sub user. This isn't happening yet, so I say I'm not near the goal of DMSI.
Then why am I writing this post, when nothing hasn't really changed? I suppose I realized (or maybe re-realized) something interesting about me.
So yesterday, I got invited to a family friend's Christmas dinner. Even though I described myself as a family friend, I am more like a guest to the entire family. (I'm only a family friend to the host. The rest of them, I don't know too well. It's complicated and too private to share, so I will just leave it here.)
One thing I realized is that when it comes to talking about celebrity issues, gossips, I can't talk about anything. In fact, I really can't handle it, and I can't take talking about celebrity issues or gossips. I praise myself to be able to hold myself in tact when the topic came up for a bit.
The second thing I realized is that when it comes to having small talks about daily lives, I can't really talk about it either. I suppose it is also because that they are a family, while I am a guest, yet, the same thing happens at the school. Since I can't have small talks about daily lives, or can follow them, I feel that the ridge between myself and other students get deeper as time progresses. (It is a mystery to me why they can do that, how they become friends, and share their daily lives.) Another reason I think that is the case may be that I really don't have any daily life going on other than doing homework/school work, watching BBC world news, documentaries, game streaming, and playing games.
However, what is interesting is that I almost always have great conversations with uber/lyft drivers. I find that there are topics that I talk more often than others, but the topics vary very differently. It can be about talking about different cultures, different parts of the world to technology, politics, society, and etc. It's also that I don't direct the topics or the flow of conversation. I goes naturally, bouncing back and forth, and it just flows to different directions. I'm curious to see what the difference is between small daily talks to my conversation with uber/lyft drivers.
Another thing I noticed is that when I am asked by a person (a few family member talked to me directly), I do well, and if the topic shifts to something I have more interest in, or stuff I know well, I do very well. Not only that, I also somehow manage to bring the conversation from topic A to topic B with great connection, even if they seem at first not connected to one or another. (In the case that both topic A and B are related.)
I believe these are results of ASD, but it was quite amusing to re-realize the issues, to reflect, and think about it.
I see some work or areas where there can be improvement, and hopefully my running DMSI can help in that area. (Well, it would also be very helpful if its intended goal were to come.)
