12-16-2016, 08:01 AM
AM6 is pushing me to do things I should be doing but I'm not. But I realized something really important. It's that I'm framing these new events in the wrong mindset. That's why I'm having so much resistance towards it. I keep seeing all these opportunities in life as more of potential failures, than a pathway to success. And that's what causes me to back off. So I need to start thinking about good things I can move towards and not the bad. It's really no wonder I've been so reluctant to make any changes in my life because all I have a tendency to see is pain and struggle, never opportunity and happiness.
I think that's why I've been resisting this whole time. All these supposedly good things just carried the weight of all the negative things attached to them as well. I've always been a glass half empty kind of guy and now I realize that my obsessive focus on the negative is what hurts me the most. In a way it's always been a coping mechanism because I felt if I knew all the negatives I could avoid more pain. But somewhere along the way it got out of control and the weight of the negative always outweighed the positive. I don't know why but for some reason pessimism and feeling like failure was right around the corner felt more "real" to me than succeeding and being happy. Probably just my comfort zone and mistaking that feeling of happiness and success as being different as being wrong. Just goes to show how comfort doesn't always mean being in the best position in your life.
I think that's why I've been resisting this whole time. All these supposedly good things just carried the weight of all the negative things attached to them as well. I've always been a glass half empty kind of guy and now I realize that my obsessive focus on the negative is what hurts me the most. In a way it's always been a coping mechanism because I felt if I knew all the negatives I could avoid more pain. But somewhere along the way it got out of control and the weight of the negative always outweighed the positive. I don't know why but for some reason pessimism and feeling like failure was right around the corner felt more "real" to me than succeeding and being happy. Probably just my comfort zone and mistaking that feeling of happiness and success as being different as being wrong. Just goes to show how comfort doesn't always mean being in the best position in your life.
