12-05-2016, 11:09 AM
Day 4
I have no idea why I was posting updates on the morning, but since today I will post them in the evening, if I'm drunk I sleep outside my house I will simply skip that particular entry. I wanna post daily, at least for some time, but let's not be overzealous.
Nothing major to report, same old story as to IOIs, no manifestations of anything out of ordinary. My anxieties are still quite bad but it's not terrible. If anything what bothers me is my anger which seems to slowly rise and I have no idea how to ventilate it. But on the other hand there are moment when I'm happy and very motivated. It's not a rollercoaster, but maybe a slow and gentle swing.
If I think about anything a lot right now it's my weight. I'm not going hungry or malnourished but I do eat less than before and every time I see myself in my bathroom mirror I do seem slimmer than ever before. I think it has to do more with change in my perspective and moving away from my self-image as fat f**k than actual weight loss but I cannot complain anyway
If anything it show how big of an issue my weight is for me and how undeserving I feel because of it.
Not really a field report but I met with my female friend yesterday, we went downtown for a couple of beers, went back to my place and walked her for her bus. In the past she was giving me heavy IOIs and so she does now but much less so, probably because she realizes I'm not interested in her. Still she's lots of fun and she even offered me to be my wing(wo)man in the future
I almost wish she was more attractive (she has pretty face but body of a boy) so I would actually go for her. You cannot have everything in life though, right?
I have no idea why I was posting updates on the morning, but since today I will post them in the evening, if I'm drunk I sleep outside my house I will simply skip that particular entry. I wanna post daily, at least for some time, but let's not be overzealous.
Nothing major to report, same old story as to IOIs, no manifestations of anything out of ordinary. My anxieties are still quite bad but it's not terrible. If anything what bothers me is my anger which seems to slowly rise and I have no idea how to ventilate it. But on the other hand there are moment when I'm happy and very motivated. It's not a rollercoaster, but maybe a slow and gentle swing.
If I think about anything a lot right now it's my weight. I'm not going hungry or malnourished but I do eat less than before and every time I see myself in my bathroom mirror I do seem slimmer than ever before. I think it has to do more with change in my perspective and moving away from my self-image as fat f**k than actual weight loss but I cannot complain anyway
If anything it show how big of an issue my weight is for me and how undeserving I feel because of it.Not really a field report but I met with my female friend yesterday, we went downtown for a couple of beers, went back to my place and walked her for her bus. In the past she was giving me heavy IOIs and so she does now but much less so, probably because she realizes I'm not interested in her. Still she's lots of fun and she even offered me to be my wing(wo)man in the future
I almost wish she was more attractive (she has pretty face but body of a boy) so I would actually go for her. You cannot have everything in life though, right?
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
