11-30-2016, 01:44 PM
Day 11 off DMSI 2.5
I think this fear has multiple reasons, so to say.
One, it's not only fear that I have to deal with, but also the fear of losing control.
I never would have thought I would have such a fear (I'm a weird mix of hard-working but at the same time incredibly nonchalant, so to say), but it's there. I don't want to lose control of my body, my soul, and everything.
Interestingly, I realized this completely out of the blue (like it usually happens with big revelations, lol), while entering my room. A passing thought - "maybe I'm scared to lose control" - it made perfect sense.
Two, I think it's more of a lesson for me. I don't completely believe in "spirit guides" (well, partially), since I never talked or saw them, but I do believe we are being guided at times.
I believe this lesson is multifaceted.
1 - To learn how to overcome fear.
2 - To more fully implement the insight I had during my meditation - i.e that we truly are amazing, powerful beings underneath the body.
3 - To learn how to shield myself from negativity. While this isn't necessary if someone truly embodies the previous point - I'm not at that level yet.
Also, while I'm typing this, I realized there might be another lesson to be found here.
We really can't control our thoughts. Sure, we might think consciously, but we will have those random intruding thoughts at times.
Again, the issue of control pops up here.
I usually don't analyze this much and I really don't look for "lessons", but I don't think this is completely random.
Spirit guides, subconscious healing, me maturing..? Could be any one of those, but for some reason I don't think it's completely random. I literally have a feeling right now as if someone is proud of me, thinking "good job!".
Don't know why, don't know how.
But, I feel calmer now.
Hopefully I'll be able to sleep calmly today.
P.S I know this is kinda bordering on the edges of Rule 4, but I believe it ought to be included - if not for testing purposes, then for me to go through my thoughts and put 'em down nicely. Which I usually don't do.. weird, huh?
I think this fear has multiple reasons, so to say.
One, it's not only fear that I have to deal with, but also the fear of losing control.
I never would have thought I would have such a fear (I'm a weird mix of hard-working but at the same time incredibly nonchalant, so to say), but it's there. I don't want to lose control of my body, my soul, and everything.
Interestingly, I realized this completely out of the blue (like it usually happens with big revelations, lol), while entering my room. A passing thought - "maybe I'm scared to lose control" - it made perfect sense.
Two, I think it's more of a lesson for me. I don't completely believe in "spirit guides" (well, partially), since I never talked or saw them, but I do believe we are being guided at times.
I believe this lesson is multifaceted.
1 - To learn how to overcome fear.
2 - To more fully implement the insight I had during my meditation - i.e that we truly are amazing, powerful beings underneath the body.
3 - To learn how to shield myself from negativity. While this isn't necessary if someone truly embodies the previous point - I'm not at that level yet.
Also, while I'm typing this, I realized there might be another lesson to be found here.
We really can't control our thoughts. Sure, we might think consciously, but we will have those random intruding thoughts at times.
Again, the issue of control pops up here.
I usually don't analyze this much and I really don't look for "lessons", but I don't think this is completely random.
Spirit guides, subconscious healing, me maturing..? Could be any one of those, but for some reason I don't think it's completely random. I literally have a feeling right now as if someone is proud of me, thinking "good job!".
Don't know why, don't know how.
But, I feel calmer now.
Hopefully I'll be able to sleep calmly today.
P.S I know this is kinda bordering on the edges of Rule 4, but I believe it ought to be included - if not for testing purposes, then for me to go through my thoughts and put 'em down nicely. Which I usually don't do.. weird, huh?
