11-29-2016, 05:23 AM
Sadly I don't feel much better after good night sleep. Right now I experience serious rollercoaster of emotions: at one time she's being totally neutral for me, I'm losing any emotions to her and she's just somebody from my past, but at other times I feel love/hate towards her and hopelessness of the situation.
The worst thing is that I am for blame for this. Sure, she was promising me things that wouldn't come to be but I should not believe her and I know that. I simply loved her too much and I wanted to believe her. In some way it's fine, I'll know better in the future. I can only hope when she comes crying the next time I will be wise enough to kick any ideas of emotional connection with me out of the head. I'm so damn scared I will be too big of a wimp to do what's right, even if it hurts both me and her. Because ultimately saying no at the beginning hurts less than disappointment at the end.
Patiently waiting for DMSI 3 to be released, I'd rather wait than force Shannon to work over his head. We all have our moments of weakness and Shannon deserves some slack right now.
The worst thing is that I am for blame for this. Sure, she was promising me things that wouldn't come to be but I should not believe her and I know that. I simply loved her too much and I wanted to believe her. In some way it's fine, I'll know better in the future. I can only hope when she comes crying the next time I will be wise enough to kick any ideas of emotional connection with me out of the head. I'm so damn scared I will be too big of a wimp to do what's right, even if it hurts both me and her. Because ultimately saying no at the beginning hurts less than disappointment at the end.
Patiently waiting for DMSI 3 to be released, I'd rather wait than force Shannon to work over his head. We all have our moments of weakness and Shannon deserves some slack right now.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
