Shannon's Journal Discussion

[Shannon]

Trust me, Shannon...

Be prepared for the transparent attempts to ingratiate themselves with you once you're successful. I've had that constantly from family and people I thought were friends, and lots of girls that treated me like trash beforehand (likely hearing through friends of friends how I'm doing nowadays and try to fix what they screwed up long ago), and/or belittle me and demean and doubt me and my success and tell me I'd never make it. Well I did make it, and I haven't forgotten how I was treated by them. The revisionist thinking from them has amused me too. A few have actually had either the delusion or audacity to come up to me and try to say "Hey, just so you know, no hard feelings..." WHAT?! YOU were the ones acting like trash, how dare you try to take the high road with me when it was you causing all of this. Just irritated me even more that they refused to take any responsibility for why things are the way they are, subtly implying it was all my fault somehow, and their behaviour had nothing to do with causing it all.

Just be prepared for that, and don't forget is what I'm saying. Because I guarantee THEY will forget, and even revise history.

Looking back on my life, it looks more and more suspiciously to me like I have been being "prepared" for the responsibility that will result from achieving great wealth for all these years. Not just in terms of being strong enough to defend myself from this sort of *****, but to not do stupid things with the money once I have it. Back when I started trying to make myself a millionaire (I was 18 at the time) I would have lost it all to leeches in an instant. Now... not so much. I have not enjoyed the long journey and the multiple "almost did it" scenarios that failed at the last moment, but I am definitely a stronger, wiser, more capable man for them. And probably when I am capable of handling the responsibility of dealing with the consequences of great wealth fully, and all of what that wealth will do for opening up new vistas of responsibility concerning why I am here and what I am attempting to achieve... I will achieve great wealth.

But I feel like I passed a test tonight by handling it the way I did. That's why I said... forget them. They can eat their own dog food and I will live my life. Revenge is a waste of time and energy and focus on the past you can't change, when you could be doing something worth your time and effort instead.

Their loss. I have a very good, very long memory.

And I am very good at detecting and defeating psychological manipulation and calling out *****. I'm sure this will only make me better when I achieve millionaire.

Good for you, sounds like you turned a corner and enforced boundaries regardless of the storm they bring down on you. Fantastic!

I had several "almost did it" scenarios, and had to go back and reinvent myself after a few of them, I was in rough shape. But, if you want it bad enough, you adapt, come back better next time. Finally, I broke through and developed something that could get me through the barrier.

You will too, I have zero doubt in my mind based off what I've seen so far.

I had some of them devastate me so completely when it fell through at the last minute that I spent months and months recovering from the emotional fallout. The last time it happened was in 2006-7-8, don't remember exactly, but I happened to tell my girlfriend at the time I was about to become a millionaire through a major deal I had in the works, and she intentionally destroyed that for me.

When I asked why, after a couple months of cooling off enough to be able to not kick her ass when I saw her, she told me: "If you had succeeded, you would have left me for someone prettier."

WTF! She was a solid 8, total nymphomaniac, and everyone I knew was jealous of us because we were "the perfect couple". I ended up leaving her not long after because she was a pathological cheater, pathological liar, alcoholic and did that to me instead. Looking back I can laugh at the irony. At the time, it took a lot of self control not to do things I would have regretted for many many decades.

I kept going not because I wanted to... that was something like the 5th or 6th time I 'almost made it" and then had something stupid as hell prevent it... but because I don't have a choice. There is literally no other way forward for me to be able to achieve what I have to achieve. I think this time, it's going to happen. This time, I am developing something that everybody wants... and many things that everyone needs. There's 20 titles if there is one that could do it. I just need to finish developing the tech and build them.

Success is inevitable. Just not happening on my choice of time frames.

And the truth is, I really have even outgrown the desire or the interest and even the satisfaction that I would originally have had from succeeding and shoving naysayers' noses in it. Now, I just don't care what they think anymore. I'm working to achieve my goal, and multi-millionaire is just the ladder I need to get to the next level. It's not even close to the end goal by itself.