11-06-2016, 09:26 PM
(11-06-2016, 08:39 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote: @Sarge
Ahhh. This actually makes a lot of sense.
I didn't realize you were getting as much attraction and IOIs as you are. Sounds like you actually already have a style down, but there's just some kind of blockage keeping you from taking the next step. If that's the case, trust your natural instincts to guide you. They're probably more intuitive than you realize. v2.4 will clear that blockage eventually anyway.
Yeah, couldn't have said it better myself: blockage... exactly.
I hope you're right about it getting cleared.
(11-06-2016, 08:39 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote: Being completely honest, escalation was a problem for me too. Hell, still is. When I find myself actually falling for the chick, I have a hard time making moves -- that's what happened with #3. On that front, I don't know how much I can offer. My strategy (which has been successful) is to assume attraction and just push aggressively for sex until she gives a rather forceful "NO." Otherwise, I assume all soft resistance (anything other than NO) is last minute resistance.
If she says NO -- STOP. Even if you think she's really turned on. It's not worth it.
Sometimes, to make things fun, I'll ask her "what her intentions are." Many times, it just breaks the ice and she gets into what happens next.
I do have to point out though... that NSFM and OAA will help with these significantly, so we should probably advocate their inclusion in v3.0.
Yeah that could be a good thing. As for "soft resistance" I find it hard to understand because, if she wants it, why is she resisting? If she doesn't want it, then what am I forcing her into it for? So that may be most of where my blockage lies, understanding the difference between overcoming resistance and rape (I honestly don't see a difference. :/ )
It's something I've noticed in sales too. Sometimes I get the sneaking suspicion that if I were to push a bit harder, I'd get an app but then my rationalization is "if it's not a HELL YES, it's a HELL NO!" so yeah, that's definitely something I've never been able to wrap my head around.
Even in some approaches I've made where I get resistance I'm thinking "well I guess she doesn't want me then" so yeah, very confused about that to be sure.
(11-06-2016, 09:02 PM)2Cozy Wrote: Sarge try this, next time you are around a girl who's giving you iois, come up with a "plan" like for example, ask her to go to the mall or a restaurant with you, anywhere, just move her around and spend more and more time with her. Eventually she'll ask you to go to her place or you can ask her to go to your place, but not too seriously (just gauge where she's at) she'll give you the right signs or tell you if she's ready.
When you finally do get alone with her, just act it out if you're not comfortable, hold her, escalate but watch to see how comfortable she is. If it gets down to it, and she says no, always back away but try again after a little while, she will just want to know that she has control over the situation, you may not get it that day, but the next day when she's thought about it your chances are higher.
And also sometimes girls will act disinterested but really they're just trying to respect themselves and not give away too much power, just gauge that and do as much as you think you can get away with. If you do it this way the power will always be in your hands, and you'll always get what you want.
Yeah I dunno man. I went on a date with a girl once where she was avoiding me during it. It was so weird. I'd go for a kiss and she'd move to the other end of the table and stuff so eventually I decided to end it. The weird thing is, she seemed comfortable around me just not aroused maybe. I dunno, it's so confusing to me.
She let me put my arm around her waist and stuff too just, I dunno, it was weird.
I texted her a few days later to set up a second date but she never got back to me so I have no clue what I did wrong or what happened.
