Shannon's Journal Discussion

[Cozy]

So, there it is. I know I don't "get" it yet, but I also don't think I deserve a lashing when I'm actively trying to work on this shit.

Yeah, you're right. Pardon me. I'm still getting used to the new personality shifts that these subliminals are causing. Makes me unaware when I'm being caustic until I catch myself.

I understand, no worries.

I appreciate your insights as well.

I'm not saying that approaching women "PUA style" is the "right" way to do it. Everyone has their own style. If you notice, I'm not the biggest day game type. That being said, I've all but mastered the online dating thing. The argument I was making is that you're NOT "giving away your power" by approaching women.

But again, approaching women "day game" style may not be your thing. Perhaps it's club game. Perhaps you'd do better having friends hook you up blind date style.

OR, perhaps "every woman" isn't losing interest when you approach. It's possible that's just a limiting belief holding you back. OR, maybe you're coming on too strong when you approach. OR, maybe you're not being aggressive enough. Try all different avenues and see what works for you, then develop it like a skill.

This is kind of what I've been suspecting recently, as a matter of fact, in that my style may be more passive than most. Specifically, it may be DMSI style. I find it to be no coincidence that on DMSI I've gotten less resistance and more "results" than I have on any other program.

I think the issue here is what, exactly, I'm supposed to do when women approach me or offer themselves for an approach. As RTBoss says "know what to do with a woman". Indeed, I do not. And THAT, specifically, is the problem I believe.

I realize this may seem like advocating not taking any action but it's not.

For example: I'm good at boxing. I wasn't born good at boxing. However, in regards to martial arts, I'm a much better striker than a grappler. In fact, it seems like I have a natural inclination for striking. Thus, I develop that skill, because that's what I have sufficient evidence that it'll work for me.

The last time I engaged with you on this, you said my style of dealing with women was "weird," and you preferred what Sickologist does. Ok, cool -- but is Sickologist's style YOUR style? I've said this before -- Sick has a very honed and focused mind -- his style isn't something you just emulate if you aren't a natural. It's like, in boxing, everyone wants to emulate Muhammad Ali. Ali isn't a fighter you try to copy. He makes a lot of technical mistakes, like crossing his legs and leaving his hands down. So, why was Ali so good? Because, his fighting style mimicked his thought patterns (as above, so below). He probably couldn't teach you how he was able to do the things he did. He's just Ali.

You have to develop Sarge style. Just as I developed chaos style.

And this is what I am trying to do. It's not so easy, especially when you realize that just "doing such and such" isn't the key, but being true to yourself is.

It's like with sales (I'm sure you'll appreciate this). When I first started I made more sales than anyone in my company. They called me a natural. Still, I was new to it and I knew it, so I asked for advice many times to try and improve myself.

As I did, it became increasingly obvious that the advice I was getting didn't work for me. In fact, what DID work for me was often (if not always) the exact OPPOSITE of what was being advised.

I have recently come to suspect the same may be true for seduction, and indeed, it seems to be the case.

I have some (what I think are) very intriguing ideas about attraction and masculinity (especially from what you said about imposing the will on others) but I digress.

I could tell you my style, but you'd just be like "wtf, that sounds weird," and I'd get it. To the outsider, who isn't me, who hasn't honed that process, it DOES sound weird. My style involves identifying a particular type of woman -- one with dreams of grandeur and a killer imagination -- and then using my ability to write and spin yarns to suck them out of reality and into my fantasy. For example, the chick I'm closing on now. Here's the convo. We matched on OkCupid. When you match (both click the like button), it sends a message to both parties saying, "You Liked Each Other!"

Her: Looks like it! So, what's this empire you're building? ​
Me: The kind that, when finished, will grant me a level of freedom that most will only people dream about.
Her: What do you mean?
Me: Picture me winning an Oscar with you hanging off my arm.
Her: That sounds amaaazing Are you looking for purely financial freedom or something more?
Me: Somewhere between both.
Her: So you're not gonna tell me exactly what it is?
Me: I'll tell you over drinks, after I finish flirting with you. We flip to see who pays. That is, once you hand over your number.
Her: [Insert Number Here]

I bet you think that's weird. But it works. A lot. And I can prove it if I must. And when I go out on the date, I'll hit them with my fantastical stories of Mexico and traveling up and down the West Coast (LA, San Francisco, etc).

I have no doubt it works for you, as it clearly does, and I'm not questioning your ability with women. What's more accurate is that, because I recognize your ability with women, I hope to gain some insight that will help me... \/

Now -- ask yourself, what is SARGE STYLE? When does your personality, in whatever manifestation it takes, shine the most? Mine is when I'm performing and telling stories. Sickologist is a straight up badass and enigma. Sarge is ______?

/\ This.

I do not know yet, but I do have some ideas. And, like I said, it's more towards the passive end of the spectrum.

Believe it or not I actually DO believe that an alpha male would sit on his laurels and women would come to f*ck him. (Sorry, couldn't resist. But you see what I'm getting at. If masculinity is imposing it's will as you say, then perhaps my will is that women come to me. Could it be? I don't know, but perhaps it is.)

And if this is the case, it would explain a lot.

I am a virgin, but it's not because women weren't attracted to me, and it wasn't because women never asked to go out with me (they have, in their own way) it's because I never took the next step.

I believe my issue is just that: to take the next step. NOT to change my style (which clearly creates a ton of attraction).

Does that make sense?

Now people like Ben and RT (and even you, I'm sorry to say) are telling me to throw my style out because I haven't gotten laid with it yet, but I'm wondering if I just need to take the next step WITHIN that style.

Does that make sense?

The fact of the matter is, you have a lot of people with experience with women saying approaching works. At this point, you have two choices: You can say that we're all lying or imagining things, and relying on your own experience that isn't leading to results. Or, you can question your own methods to see if there's something you're missing.

That's the flawed argument right there. Why? Because if IOI's mean anything, my experience tells me I just need to take the next step, NOT scrap the style that is garnering me the IOI's.

After all, isn't an IOI an "indicator of interest"?

I certainly get a lot of them when being the "lazy alpha".

As you yourself said:

In fact, it seems like I have a natural inclination for striking. Thus, I develop that skill, because that's what I have sufficient evidence that it'll work for me.

Exactly. You have sufficient evidence that it will work for you.

I'm following the same philosophy with women, which is that, the better they respond and the closer I get to sex, the more in line with my "naturalness" I am.

Just like in sales, I can literally feel when I'm closing in on a sale, and have predicted sales on multiple houses. So too with women I can tell if they are at least responding better to me.

So that's all I can do: follow the successes, and I can say that my style is closer to success than anything else, I just need to take that next step.

Sarge try this, next time you are around a girl who's giving you iois, come up with a "plan" like for example, ask her to go to the mall or a restaurant with you, anywhere, just move her around and spend more and more time with her. Eventually she'll ask you to go to her place or you can ask her to go to your place, but not too seriously (just gauge where she's at) she'll give you the right signs or tell you if she's ready.

When you finally do get alone with her, just act it out if you're not comfortable, hold her, escalate but watch to see how comfortable she is. If it gets down to it, and she says no, always back away but try again after a little while, she will just want to know that she has control over the situation, you may not get it that day, but the next day when she's thought about it your chances are higher.

And also sometimes girls will act disinterested but really they're just trying to respect themselves and not give away too much power, just gauge that and do as much as you think you can get away with. If you do it this way the power will always be in your hands, and you'll always get what you want.