10-29-2016, 09:36 PM
(10-20-2016, 04:59 AM)DisneylandUSA Wrote: You know yourself: You know yourself better than anyone. Taking classes and tests can contribute to 'higher standards' in women in general. Instead of looking for an A+ woman perhaps, you can lower your standards to an A- woman.
I don't know if taking classes and tests contributed to raising my standards in women. I suppose my standard on girls' appearance is fluctuating, sometimes it is high, and sometimes it is not that high, but even when it is high, it is never the level of the time of my highest, which was basically an impossible standard. Yet, I wonder if my standard on women is still high. Maybe not necessarily impossible, but high. I wonder if this is a terrible thing. On the other hand, I feel and think that I deserve a very high quality woman..... so this is an interesting dynamics.
However, I find that my standard on girls' intelligence/smartness is pretty high. Probably this is the most difficult to satisfy criteria. (Other than emotion, character and relatability part, and these I am not even sure what I look for in girls.) Or it can be that I have a different way of thinking things, perceiving things that I am looking for the girl who has similar way of thinking/perceiving the world.
Nevertheless, the most challenging thing I am finding is that I don't really have anything relatable with any girls, or with any guys. (Perhaps some, but I constantly get a feeling that I don't have anything to connect with anyone at a deep level, not just very shallow short term, one time connection.)
I suppose there can be a few different things going on here. 1. I am always with a wrong crowd that I need to somehow find better suited crowd. 2. I need to have life that is more normal, perhaps more relaxed and less focused on academics only. 3. Other dynamics that I don't know going on.
Anyway, I know that this aspect of my life is a very difficult one to address, if not the most difficult aspect. It will require lots of therapies and hard working, and perhaps not even fixable. My hope is that sub will be a help, even a little bit. (Hopefully it will be a great help!!!) So far, there hasn't been much signs of help, but I am not dismissing it that easily as addressing autism and other developmental/psychological disorder is not an easy thing.
