Alden attempts EPRHA (36d) ⇌ STM+OAAM

[alden]

Day 8
STM (47h 33m)
DAOS2 2nd Run (9h 56m)

I made the mistake of running EPRHA instead of STM and DAOS for one and half hour, so in the morning, negative thoughts creeped in. I heard my mind repeating, the world is unfair! and thoughts related to it.

I assume that my wingman, P*****, is really gaming me. Is that bad at all? No! I had several wingmen before. We didn't game each other, and some of the relationships turned sour shortly. I personally think that if I want to keep any person or friend for a long time, I have to game them. He's got the same belief. He told me that aside from his women, his family and his friends are all influenced by his game.

He came late to our meeting place for the second time. I won't allow him to turn me into that pal who always waits for him. When he texted that he's already in the landmark I told him to go, I made him wait for a little.

As usual, he talked a lot. We bounced to 2 other locations for his errands before we rode a public vehicle to a mall in another town.

He said, "Let's have a plan."

I told him that my goal for that day is (1) train myself to make approaching automatic and (2) get number-closes, which I failed to do yesterday.

I asked him about his plan. He said, "I'll just enjoy the moment." He said having such goals will only put unnecessary pressure on myself. He has a point though, but in my case, that could be the best excuse not to approach.

A few minutes inside the mall, I approached a walking teenager who seemed alone. As soon as I told her, "You're cute." She called her mother who I learned was walking behind her. Such a bitch! I ejected.

P***** approached a cute saleswoman in a cosmetic stall. He stayed there for like 40 minutes. I then became alone. My negativity trickled in. I was socially paralyzed. Inside, I was scolding myself, warning that if I don't do my game, I'll never improve!

I knew where such negativity was coming from. You should not allow those cockblock guards from yesterday and your first rejection today to stop you from achieving your dream! You've spent a lot for this—time, money and effort. You've sacrificed a lot! And if you don't get good at it, I see no point in your life!

That went on for like 40 minutes, until I thought that if I keep walking and putting mental pressure on myself, I might get too tired and hence make my game worse. So I went to the massage chairs and made myself relax for 30 minutes. P***** found me later. He's also tired, so he also had one for himself.

I knew he noticed my state at that moment, I'm an open book when I'm emotionally struggling. He gave me a friendly warning, "Bro, if you won't approach, you'll be a chode forever."

I don't like being pressured by anyone, but that's the same thing running on my mind. Sometimes, hearing another person say what you already know will blow you up.

I tried again, 2 or 3 sets passed with my hesitations hindering me to make a move. Then I approached a group set around a table in the mall's canteen.

"Are you guys looking for a job?" Then I pinched a portion of their snack. They smiled and laughed.

"I'm a director, I'm looking for actors to star in my movie," I assumed they know I was joking.

Long story short, I flirted with them—3 young girls aged 17—for like 20-30 minutes. I saved myself from being a chode forever, but I sucked at that game. They gave me their Facebook accounts though.

It seems, there's a certain amount of pressure that leads to improvement. Good results often come at the verge of being desperate. You stop thinking and just go there and put yourself on the line. You've got nothing to say but you open your mouth and some words will eventually come out, and then another, then another.

"Why did you approach us?" the target asked.

"I'm looking for a wife." They all laughed. And that's my first time expressing intent on the first encounter. "I thought, if I know you more, I might get interested in you. Let's hang out sometime."

Mind you, the phrase "looking for a wife" has the same connotation as "looking for sex" in our language. They're giggling.

I'm negging them, they're negging me. There's attraction, but not too much.

I leaned in, I appeared needy. P***** came in. He said nothing. But he appeared more valuable than me. The other girl was attracted to him.

So that was 6 hours, including time spent waiting for P*****, travel time, walking purposelessly, having massage, P***** talking (I told him, "I believe you'll improve more if you spend more time approaching"), and the actual time spent gaming. I hope I could optimize these resources next time.

I had 3 approaches. I accomplished the goal for n-closes, but not the training to make approaching automatic. I saved myself from being a chode forever, but there's still a lot that needs to improve.

It's good that P***** was there to notice my mistakes.

• I gave the set a chance to think (which should not be), so they asked if I'm doing some kind of game on their minds;
  
• The set thought I was lying, I didn't, I was kidding;
  
• I mentioned the word "I'm kidding" more than enough;
  
• I leaned in more than enough, I was the one initiating the conversations, and that made me appear needy;
  
• The jokes are low value;
  
• They thought I was gay because I often spoke in English (few guys here can speak good English and many of them are effeminates);
  
• Need to improve my walk;
  
• Need to improve my vocal tonality;
  
• Need to keep my face from being oily;
  

So that's the game for that day. I spent the rest of the night in the gym.