The Modern Libertine's diary

[Cortez]

Things are going well. I'm on stage 5 now and it's hitting pretty strong. I can always tell when it is because of my dreams and then waking up feeling that some fundamental thing has changed. I've been a hell of a lot more social lately than I have been in the past and always have a lot going on in my life. This set hasn't really changed my personality all that much, but there have been a ton of internal shifts. My neediness really dropped off to the point that I could care less most of the time if I have company from a girl and the ones I do hang out with are ones that I am VERY attracted to. It's pretty easy to get attention from girls. I don't have to do much. I got the comment from this girl(who's my age) who is friends with my mom that I'm intimidating because I ooze confidence. That's a funny compliment to get. Little old ladies seem to love me as well everywhere I go. Sometimes they want hugs or just go on and on about "What a wonderful young man I am" lol. It's a lot of fun, but I don't require much attention anymore. Actually, most the time I could care less if I got attention from most people. I've been getting more and more independent all the time. I feel like it's made me way more authentic too, which is a definite plus. I'm looking forward to what this stage will do. I already think I like it more than stage 4, which seemed like kind of a rough one at times.
Next month whenever I'm well in to stage 6, I'll be working as an actor all month on the weekends at a Halloween festival. Not one of the ones to scare people. but one of the street cast that's there to charm them. That's going to be so much fun...and dangerous for me, especially during stage 6, lol. As you can tell, my optimism has taken a very strong upswing as well. That, I think, is one of the best parts of this program.

Anyway, that's where I'm at right now