10-20-2016, 07:27 PM
(10-20-2016, 05:47 PM)Big Boss Wrote: For all those men that are south Asian subliminal users I personally recommend losing touch with parents. Forever you're thought of as a child and this is because once becoming a parent they socially identify with the role as long as you're under their thumb you give them purpose to treat you like a child. Things hurt in life sometimes but for the greater good regain your independence and create a family of your own.
I work with a few Asians; we often talk about what you mentioned at lunch break. In general, Asians are very similar to Wogs in this respect (Croatians, Italians). Both groups, Asian and Wogs have strong ties to their families that last a lifetime. I was raised in Croatia, so I’ll put a few thoughts forward from Wog’s perspective. I see your point of view. (British descendant) Australians favour independence; at very early childhood, they call their kids “mate”; have more of a friendly and persuasive relationship with kids; give their kids lots of space (emotionally); sibling hierarchy (as in, oldest kid is the boss of others) is not so noticeable; once kids grow up but still live with parents, it’s not uncommon that parents charge them rent to help out with maintenance until they move out; once kids move out, parents have no or very little say in kids life; when kids start working and have families, it is understood that kids will be in day care when these are working; their (now grand-) parents have a life of their own; rarely their kids will ask them for money or to live with them in times of hardship; grandparents have a life of their own and grandkids can come to visit sometimes. This is based on my observation of 13 years in Australia.
Wogs (and also Asians) are generally more old fashioned in terms of family ties; authority of parents is asserted over their kids, and between siblings; they have a greater sense of responsibility towards their kids and expect to be respected; it is expected for kids to be very close to siblings and parents (and cousins, aunties, etc); parents are very conscious to teach kids manners and respect for authority (school teachers); when kids start working and have kids of their own, it is expected by all that grandparents will take a lion’s share in looking after grandkids (I spent more time with my grandparents than parents every summer, for instance, and I loved it); parents will often give advice and offer help to kids (I know a Wog girl who has moved in with her Aussie husband and kids at her Wog’s parents granny flat while their house is being built, to save money on renting somewhere else; his parents are not likely to offer this as he’s a “grown man now”); even when Wog ends up in another country, he gets a list of relatives and cousins that he must visit, that will help him finding job if he needs it; grandparents are expected to be visited often and are valued for advice and homemade sweets.
If any of these groups came across as less loving to kids than other, it is not intentional and not true; generalization in what they aim for goes along the lines: Aussies – independence and guidance; Wogs – closeness and authoritarian support.
