10-20-2016, 12:47 PM
Was feeling really weird today, so I did a mental alchemy drill to check my subconscious response. This one is different from the other one I usually do. This one involves some serious imagination skills and a high level of self-awareness. I don't mind sharing this one because it isn't really dangerous (unlike the other one, that comes with a ridiculous amount of dangers, particularly because it's really similar to automatic writing).
Anyway, you start out by meditating until you're at the border between alpha and theta. It's extremely hard to maintain this state for long periods of time -- most people just fall asleep. This is the area of awareness just before you fall asleep, where you'll see and hear weird sounds and see crazy images. I use the middle pillar exercise to keep myself energized while doing it and the intense level of focus in holding the imagery keeps me awake.
Sometimes, you'll feel a strange energy flood at this point. If that happens, don't freak out, just move on. In your mind's eye, try to imagine that you're the woman of your dreams, and then YOU walk up and greet her. Note how this female avatar of yourself feels. Note her reaction. Try to stay in that state as long as possible and become very aware of the thoughts arising.
I'm really tired and probably explained that terribly, so PM me if you have any questions. Be warned (and I'm sure Shannon's gonna warn you too), you'll most likely fuck up your DMSI results trying to do this, as it'll mess with the state-shifting and stuff. I can get in and out of a meditative state in about 15 minutes, as chaos magick requires being able to go into trance and I've been practicing this daily for awhile now.
Anyway, my discovery? While "projecting" into this female avatar, I began to experience feelings of shame, guilt and anxiety. But not for my OWN sexual attraction to women. For HER sexual attraction to me. WTF is that? Why would I be ashamed for a woman to be attracted to me? It's almost like... I didn't trust her attraction, if that makes any sense. Is this a self-worth issue or what?
Thoughts appreciated. Spare me any SJW, shaming AMOG shit, though.
Anyway, you start out by meditating until you're at the border between alpha and theta. It's extremely hard to maintain this state for long periods of time -- most people just fall asleep. This is the area of awareness just before you fall asleep, where you'll see and hear weird sounds and see crazy images. I use the middle pillar exercise to keep myself energized while doing it and the intense level of focus in holding the imagery keeps me awake.
Sometimes, you'll feel a strange energy flood at this point. If that happens, don't freak out, just move on. In your mind's eye, try to imagine that you're the woman of your dreams, and then YOU walk up and greet her. Note how this female avatar of yourself feels. Note her reaction. Try to stay in that state as long as possible and become very aware of the thoughts arising.
I'm really tired and probably explained that terribly, so PM me if you have any questions. Be warned (and I'm sure Shannon's gonna warn you too), you'll most likely fuck up your DMSI results trying to do this, as it'll mess with the state-shifting and stuff. I can get in and out of a meditative state in about 15 minutes, as chaos magick requires being able to go into trance and I've been practicing this daily for awhile now.
Anyway, my discovery? While "projecting" into this female avatar, I began to experience feelings of shame, guilt and anxiety. But not for my OWN sexual attraction to women. For HER sexual attraction to me. WTF is that? Why would I be ashamed for a woman to be attracted to me? It's almost like... I didn't trust her attraction, if that makes any sense. Is this a self-worth issue or what?
Thoughts appreciated. Spare me any SJW, shaming AMOG shit, though.
