Shannon,
I reluctantly decided to not listen to v2.4 last night.
During the night, some really "core" ideas came up about life, women, myself, etc. Ideas that were more or less cherished, basic assumptions about how I think reality works. Judgements about how reality works. That there are certain things I hate about reality. How unfair certain things are and how I've been denying it for years. That was about 2 hours of processing before I went back to sleep.
When I woke, I felt more energetic than usual. I began thinking about other areas of my life to improve. I began making plans to go out this week, as well as looking forward to meeting up with a woman. Although I've given up more cherished ideas, I lack that feeling of vulnerability.
I'm thinking this might be that:
1) The healing module was almost all consuming;
2) More healing has been done than I might have realized;
3) Energy is now being more evenly distributed.
However I am worried that if all that energy may have been channeled towards healing, WTF is going on in me that would need that much energy for all that time to be healed and what's left? Have I been that brainwashed and shamed by outside influences (or even myself) for being a man and that's why it's taken so long because it's about some unchanging part of my identity?
If you have any input, Shannon, I'd appreciate it. I still want the healing to be over and am willing to do what it takes.
Regarding ideas for the healing module in the future: Is it possible the healing could occur more unconsciously in the background? Is there a way to anodynize the pain? Is there a way to buffer the emotional highs and lows?
I reluctantly decided to not listen to v2.4 last night.
During the night, some really "core" ideas came up about life, women, myself, etc. Ideas that were more or less cherished, basic assumptions about how I think reality works. Judgements about how reality works. That there are certain things I hate about reality. How unfair certain things are and how I've been denying it for years. That was about 2 hours of processing before I went back to sleep.
When I woke, I felt more energetic than usual. I began thinking about other areas of my life to improve. I began making plans to go out this week, as well as looking forward to meeting up with a woman. Although I've given up more cherished ideas, I lack that feeling of vulnerability.
I'm thinking this might be that:
1) The healing module was almost all consuming;
2) More healing has been done than I might have realized;
3) Energy is now being more evenly distributed.
However I am worried that if all that energy may have been channeled towards healing, WTF is going on in me that would need that much energy for all that time to be healed and what's left? Have I been that brainwashed and shamed by outside influences (or even myself) for being a man and that's why it's taken so long because it's about some unchanging part of my identity?
If you have any input, Shannon, I'd appreciate it. I still want the healing to be over and am willing to do what it takes.
Regarding ideas for the healing module in the future: Is it possible the healing could occur more unconsciously in the background? Is there a way to anodynize the pain? Is there a way to buffer the emotional highs and lows?
