10-10-2016, 10:14 AM
Shannon,
I thought perhaps by describing some healing experiences I've been having it might help.
Over all v2.2 started intense and gradually decreased in intensity. The first week was brutal. I was so nervous even going out in public. Never mind talking with women, doing so almost made me panic. That was weird because I hadn't felt that way in years! By about 6 weeks into v2.2, I felt like the healing was done or nearly done.
Then v2.4. The healing has been feeling about the same intensity throughout. Like a chronic dull droning. Fairly mild. At least 3 times a week, some new %^&$ed up idea surfaces. Nothing surprising. Just been pushed out of my conscious mind for years. I "process" it and move on.
Also I have an almost steady feeling of "vulnerability". It's not vulnerability though, it's like my muscles are more relaxed and my head is less cluttered with ideas and stupid crap. Like my ideas and tense muscles are no longer my shields against the world. I'm shieldless, therefore the feeling of vulnerability.
There has also been the experience of loss. Loss of treasured ideas about myself, women, relationships, limitations, and the world. That experience of loss though I think is inevitable.
But there is also the feeling of drudgery of all this healing. A Sisyphean task. When will it end? What can I do to get to the finish line? I know I will get the best results when the healing ends, and I want the best. What keeps me going is the thought of the rewards at the completion of healing.
My ideas have changed radically since starting the DMSI series. Not just in thought, but also with the feeling that these new ideas can be or are real.
But I think that stopping or giving up on the healing might just be the temptation of an instant gratification short cut. I want something long-term and/or permanent. If I knew the healing would take X amount of time, this would be easier.
Although I plan on downloading v2.5, I want to stick with v2.4 to keep doing the healing so the healing of v3.x should be faster. If there was something I could do to speed this along, I would.
Please know, I'm not mad. I don't feel any complaining in my intention as I write this. I'm simply hoping this will give you information to help give you ideas to guide the development of your subs in such a way the healing can be made quicker and easier.
I thought perhaps by describing some healing experiences I've been having it might help.
Over all v2.2 started intense and gradually decreased in intensity. The first week was brutal. I was so nervous even going out in public. Never mind talking with women, doing so almost made me panic. That was weird because I hadn't felt that way in years! By about 6 weeks into v2.2, I felt like the healing was done or nearly done.
Then v2.4. The healing has been feeling about the same intensity throughout. Like a chronic dull droning. Fairly mild. At least 3 times a week, some new %^&$ed up idea surfaces. Nothing surprising. Just been pushed out of my conscious mind for years. I "process" it and move on.
Also I have an almost steady feeling of "vulnerability". It's not vulnerability though, it's like my muscles are more relaxed and my head is less cluttered with ideas and stupid crap. Like my ideas and tense muscles are no longer my shields against the world. I'm shieldless, therefore the feeling of vulnerability.
There has also been the experience of loss. Loss of treasured ideas about myself, women, relationships, limitations, and the world. That experience of loss though I think is inevitable.
But there is also the feeling of drudgery of all this healing. A Sisyphean task. When will it end? What can I do to get to the finish line? I know I will get the best results when the healing ends, and I want the best. What keeps me going is the thought of the rewards at the completion of healing.
My ideas have changed radically since starting the DMSI series. Not just in thought, but also with the feeling that these new ideas can be or are real.
But I think that stopping or giving up on the healing might just be the temptation of an instant gratification short cut. I want something long-term and/or permanent. If I knew the healing would take X amount of time, this would be easier.
Although I plan on downloading v2.5, I want to stick with v2.4 to keep doing the healing so the healing of v3.x should be faster. If there was something I could do to speed this along, I would.
Please know, I'm not mad. I don't feel any complaining in my intention as I write this. I'm simply hoping this will give you information to help give you ideas to guide the development of your subs in such a way the healing can be made quicker and easier.
