09-21-2016, 07:05 AM
(This post was last modified: 09-21-2016, 07:17 AM by AlphaScorpio.)
Day 16
Days feel really long there's so much going on in my head due to DMSI time feels strange.
Resistance comes and goes fairly quickly, one time I'm feeling good next I feel frustrated/angry. When I look at myself in the mirror, my eyes are deeper and more complicated though this could be just coincidence. I find myself walking around instead of cycling on my bike, I love walking now and get urges to go to town and other places.
Had an urge to go for a walk last night, so put on my DMSI with overear headphones on and started walking towards the food shop, as I walked in the security guard looked at me but I didn't look back and carried on walking straight past him. On the way out of the shop the security guard looked at me and smiled and said something, I couldn't hear him but it looked like a "hello how's it going" so I smiled and said hey back. I feel very little fear around authority figures at the moment.
Some other things noticed on my walk;
-Walked into Macdonalds, ordered a coke to get some nice carbs into me cause DMSI was burning through calories.
-Still had headphones on, the lady working there 4/10, (literally nearly 0 attraction to her) took my order. I was feeling almost high/mildly drunk due to DMSI. I fumbled about, looking for my card, I chuckled to myself how silly I was being whilst jokingly saying "bear with me" to the lady.
-I finish my coke and go to put it in the bin and I look at the lady who served me, we make eye contact for about 3 seconds and she has this confused/in awe look on her face as if she's seen a god.
-This morning I get a ring on the doorbell, I get two sales people for virgin media turn up trying to sell me their shit, it was a man and a woman 3/10, as I open the door the woman almost immediately starts giggling nervously and says "you're smiling haha!, you've had this before" I was taken aback, I didn't even realize I was smiling particularly (Maybe it was my eyes that gave her the giggles
) I say something back then brush her off in the politest way and ask the guy what it was for, I humour them for a while, allow them to make their persuasive rehearsed speech then I decide to make some conversation where are you from, how's it going etc. etc. the lady is still fidgeting/giggling awkwardly and smiling. As soon as I have had enough I shut the convo down effortlessly. Conversational skill definately increases on DMSI...
Whilst nothing major interesting has happened, I think for myself and Shannon little details could be useful, for me it's to increase self awareness and see the thought process so when I am getting resistance I can look back.
Going out to town shortly.
Days feel really long there's so much going on in my head due to DMSI time feels strange.
Resistance comes and goes fairly quickly, one time I'm feeling good next I feel frustrated/angry. When I look at myself in the mirror, my eyes are deeper and more complicated though this could be just coincidence. I find myself walking around instead of cycling on my bike, I love walking now and get urges to go to town and other places.
Had an urge to go for a walk last night, so put on my DMSI with overear headphones on and started walking towards the food shop, as I walked in the security guard looked at me but I didn't look back and carried on walking straight past him. On the way out of the shop the security guard looked at me and smiled and said something, I couldn't hear him but it looked like a "hello how's it going" so I smiled and said hey back. I feel very little fear around authority figures at the moment.
Some other things noticed on my walk;
-Walked into Macdonalds, ordered a coke to get some nice carbs into me cause DMSI was burning through calories.
-Still had headphones on, the lady working there 4/10, (literally nearly 0 attraction to her) took my order. I was feeling almost high/mildly drunk due to DMSI. I fumbled about, looking for my card, I chuckled to myself how silly I was being whilst jokingly saying "bear with me" to the lady.
-I finish my coke and go to put it in the bin and I look at the lady who served me, we make eye contact for about 3 seconds and she has this confused/in awe look on her face as if she's seen a god.
-This morning I get a ring on the doorbell, I get two sales people for virgin media turn up trying to sell me their shit, it was a man and a woman 3/10, as I open the door the woman almost immediately starts giggling nervously and says "you're smiling haha!, you've had this before" I was taken aback, I didn't even realize I was smiling particularly (Maybe it was my eyes that gave her the giggles
) I say something back then brush her off in the politest way and ask the guy what it was for, I humour them for a while, allow them to make their persuasive rehearsed speech then I decide to make some conversation where are you from, how's it going etc. etc. the lady is still fidgeting/giggling awkwardly and smiling. As soon as I have had enough I shut the convo down effortlessly. Conversational skill definately increases on DMSI...Whilst nothing major interesting has happened, I think for myself and Shannon little details could be useful, for me it's to increase self awareness and see the thought process so when I am getting resistance I can look back.
Going out to town shortly.
