09-04-2016, 04:23 PM
(09-03-2016, 06:48 PM)Dubls Wrote: I was never big on the night scene because I wasn't attractive, confident, or popular in the past. A lot has changed, but honestly it's a scary thing in my mind. One thing I really need to work on is that I don't dance. Dancing has always been this awkward, embarrassing thing that I've avoided like the plague. I'm very self-conscious about it. I have no rhythm and 'feeling' my movement through music is completely unnatural to me. But I do recognize the value of dancing. It's a physical relationship that is socially acceptable, that can be highly sexual, and actually lead to sex. Physical relationships are so much more powerful than words.
Beyond that it's the highly superficial environment that actually scares me the most. That and the social exclusivity. These are two food chains I've never been on top of. They intimidate me, and my clubbing experiences have largely been me keeping to myself, following my friends like a lost puppy, and wanting to go home. Again, that was a few years ago. I'm easily intimidated by guys and especially girls who give off the impression of being popular and experienced socially/sexually. It's difficult and stressful to place myself on the radar of these women (in contention with these guys) in an environment where I feel like I'm being swallowed. I do see the merit in night life. You can strike out but you can win big. The girls are more likely to be DTF.
The hardest part about this whole journey is that very few people can relate to reinventing themselves like I've been doing for the past couple of years. My past is boring and unsexed. I don't have good stories. I hung out with beta losers. Now I'm attracting girls in their late teens and 20s who are gaining the life experience that I feel like I'm in a losing race to recover.
I didn't realize what you wrote would prompt such a lengthy response out of me Sicko.
I don't mean to chime in where I'm not welcome, so I apologize if I am. I wanted to reply to your post after reading it for a few reasons.
The first and most important reason is to congratulate you. Most people will go through their whole lives living within their own comforts and complain about how they can never change, rather than take the steps to change.
Which leads to my second reason, and that is growth is hard. Growth is you going against every form of resistance that has allowed itself to fester in your mind, and telling it go to hell. The old cliche, you are your own worst enemy, is like every other cliche I've heard, it's true. That uncertainty you feel is your own growth. And you'll hit walls constantly, that's OK. The one thing you need to remember is that those ceilings aren't made of steel or concrete, but glass. You can easily shatter through them with some force.
The way I look at life, and this is just me, is that it's like a large skyscraper. Pick any of the tallest buildings in the world. And every floor has a glass ceiling. And I make it a point to break through every one of them until I get to the roof of the building and look out at the world from the highest point.
That climb upwards is going to be exhausting, you'll want to quit several times, and after your first few floors you'll need to take a break, get a bite, take your mind off the end goal for a minute and just enjoy the moment. And you'll realize pretty soon that you won't need to break glass ceilings anymore because you can take the stairs, and then elevators eventually.
It gets easier - as long as you keep at it, it gets easier. Just remember, the war is in your head and it already knows all of your tricks. So, sometimes you need brute force to mow down your enemy.
Keep at it. I know you'll be great in your own time. Just keep fighting that fight.
Duke
