Shannon's Journal Discussion

[Shannon]

Shannon,

Along the lines of alien ideas while listening to v2.3... I keep thinking "Why do I do X? Why not do Y?" And these ideas are so out of the ordinary for me I don't know where they are coming from.

Rather than just saying what these ideas are, suffice to say they are very different than how I usually think. Something is changing internally at a level of assumptions about who I am, identity, personality, etc. It's like "WTF?! Where did that idea come from?! Not me!"

Sure they are my thoughts and all, but they are contradicting a lot of assumptions and valued ideas I've had about myself and life in general. Liberating yet alien.

And then there is this emotion that is alien to me. I'm usually very calm and peaceful. Now I'm getting ^&*%ing pissed! Like I'm looking around my life and NOTHING seems right. Like it's all wrong! Like my current life is a mismatch to how it's supposed to be. Like who I am on the inside is completely mismatched to my external physical reality.

BTW, I'm glad I can provide you data. I just wish I could do more because I believe in being part of the solution and I refuse to just complain about how I'm not having women jump on me or whatever... I'd rather give you something you can use to help everyone. Right now, I'm at a loss.

I am glad you guys are providing me this data, but there's some piece of information I am still missing.