08-05-2016, 07:08 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-05-2016, 07:36 PM by hiddenalias.)
Day 11 - Stage 1/7
9 hours listened.
US Tones - Vol 31
I think I felt like I had a vivid dream; what I mean is that I felt I was in such a deep sleep, that the dream felt real and when I was woken up I felt like the dream that was still playing like a movie and not even near an ending was suddenly interrupted by the vhs tape was getting stuck and tangled in the vcr. I guess thats one way to put it.
Even if I cant remember the whole dream, I do remember this much that a guy I was speaking with was angry or expressing a pissed off mood toward me.
The minuses today is that I still felt hesitant and felt uncomfortable when people at work took a situation seriously and I didn't know how to break the tension with the serious vibe in the atmosphere with a sense of humor to get others to laugh and play it out cool and 'lighten things up'....I know some can actually pull it off naturally if the group like the guy as a friend than just a coworker I theorize. If the grouch was interfering asking what I was doing, I just answered, didn't ask her to piss off. Very submissive I know.
But sometimes at work, I felt great, I talked to people even if I am not their best friends and felt great that I was involved in topics that I wanted to share not afraid of sharing. S
I am still afraid of speaking out to my bro in law even if I legitimately need to find out details about stuff...definitely irrational fears. Still joking with the gen manager and sometimes the store manager (still the same person I had sometimes a good conversation with) minimally made temporary short lived "jokes".
One of the coworkers, or maybe 2 that werent so interested in me before (one being the grouch) I suddenly I guess they started liking me even if for a short while. I felt I was still cool with the assistant manager though we r not friends.
On the positive side, I felt like I could talk to people and join in on conversation "cutting in" well I guess not with anybody but with people I felt comfortable with. Unfortunately irrational fears still exist and there was some I felt I could talk to confidently if I wanted to and others who were more "powerful" that I hesitated I could not or was afraid of joining in.
Still can't joke with anyone yet or the people that I want to cuz of irrational fears...
One weird thing that happened today is that I was eating at Mcdonalds sitting inside and as I was finishing up, some random stranger customer who was also present (as I am wiping my face getting done with my meal) he is like "you missed a spot"......I was like WTF?! What kind of stranger cares to let you know that? Kinda felt annoyed but didn't know if I was supposed to speak up and say "Mind your own business" OR just politely listen since it caught me off guard......
I donno if you guys can chime in on this....especially Shannon. Because I really need feedback on this; I don't know if what happened above was that he felt he was under threat and I am unknowingly expressing alpha energy or aura or what so he just said it because so that he can "feel better" of himself.....again it just happened unexpectedly. What do you guys think of the above scenario?
Even though 11 days later I don't see any changes yet.....I am guessing it isn't my stereo speakers, it isn't the sub, it is either the volume that needs to be ramped up above 31 (goes as high as 60 on bluetooth receiver I am using) or that I just have 35 years of subconscious irrational fears rooted in my unconcious and in 11 days is nothing to reprogram me. I remember one guy who said AM 6 didnt work for him in this forum somewhere, so I don't want to become a statistic and be a 2nd person asking for a refund saying it didn't work. Unlike him though, who knows where he is now, I am not listening to the sub over 12+ hours a day like he did.
So confidently I want to say AM 6 is doing something but it is going to be super slow based on my adopted beliefs I've encountered for over 30 years PLUS
examples: bad parenting like of a dad who, when I was bullied as a boy, one day I asked him to come meet the bully and that he was the one who was picking on me and my dad? he was like touching his face by holding it gently in his palm saying "this sweet little boy"?? Or with teachers from my elementary school who were bullies always shouting at me and yes I always did cry in elementary school for 3 or 4 years I think, then a teacher in 3rd grade who threw down a notebook of mine in front of the whole class as I cried picking it up......(Kindergarten to 3rd grade) been bullied since 6th grade then all the bullying stopped there until rumors of me being a homo in high school just because I said "I loved my brother" as the love between siblings...SMH
Just sharing some personal life events that took place that may have caused me to adopt such outlook on life where AM 6 would have to be used many many times for someone from my life background.
9 hours listened.
US Tones - Vol 31
I think I felt like I had a vivid dream; what I mean is that I felt I was in such a deep sleep, that the dream felt real and when I was woken up I felt like the dream that was still playing like a movie and not even near an ending was suddenly interrupted by the vhs tape was getting stuck and tangled in the vcr. I guess thats one way to put it.
Even if I cant remember the whole dream, I do remember this much that a guy I was speaking with was angry or expressing a pissed off mood toward me.
The minuses today is that I still felt hesitant and felt uncomfortable when people at work took a situation seriously and I didn't know how to break the tension with the serious vibe in the atmosphere with a sense of humor to get others to laugh and play it out cool and 'lighten things up'....I know some can actually pull it off naturally if the group like the guy as a friend than just a coworker I theorize. If the grouch was interfering asking what I was doing, I just answered, didn't ask her to piss off. Very submissive I know.
But sometimes at work, I felt great, I talked to people even if I am not their best friends and felt great that I was involved in topics that I wanted to share not afraid of sharing. S
I am still afraid of speaking out to my bro in law even if I legitimately need to find out details about stuff...definitely irrational fears. Still joking with the gen manager and sometimes the store manager (still the same person I had sometimes a good conversation with) minimally made temporary short lived "jokes".
One of the coworkers, or maybe 2 that werent so interested in me before (one being the grouch) I suddenly I guess they started liking me even if for a short while. I felt I was still cool with the assistant manager though we r not friends.
On the positive side, I felt like I could talk to people and join in on conversation "cutting in" well I guess not with anybody but with people I felt comfortable with. Unfortunately irrational fears still exist and there was some I felt I could talk to confidently if I wanted to and others who were more "powerful" that I hesitated I could not or was afraid of joining in.
Still can't joke with anyone yet or the people that I want to cuz of irrational fears...
One weird thing that happened today is that I was eating at Mcdonalds sitting inside and as I was finishing up, some random stranger customer who was also present (as I am wiping my face getting done with my meal) he is like "you missed a spot"......I was like WTF?! What kind of stranger cares to let you know that? Kinda felt annoyed but didn't know if I was supposed to speak up and say "Mind your own business" OR just politely listen since it caught me off guard......
I donno if you guys can chime in on this....especially Shannon. Because I really need feedback on this; I don't know if what happened above was that he felt he was under threat and I am unknowingly expressing alpha energy or aura or what so he just said it because so that he can "feel better" of himself.....again it just happened unexpectedly. What do you guys think of the above scenario?
Even though 11 days later I don't see any changes yet.....I am guessing it isn't my stereo speakers, it isn't the sub, it is either the volume that needs to be ramped up above 31 (goes as high as 60 on bluetooth receiver I am using) or that I just have 35 years of subconscious irrational fears rooted in my unconcious and in 11 days is nothing to reprogram me. I remember one guy who said AM 6 didnt work for him in this forum somewhere, so I don't want to become a statistic and be a 2nd person asking for a refund saying it didn't work. Unlike him though, who knows where he is now, I am not listening to the sub over 12+ hours a day like he did.
So confidently I want to say AM 6 is doing something but it is going to be super slow based on my adopted beliefs I've encountered for over 30 years PLUS
examples: bad parenting like of a dad who, when I was bullied as a boy, one day I asked him to come meet the bully and that he was the one who was picking on me and my dad? he was like touching his face by holding it gently in his palm saying "this sweet little boy"?? Or with teachers from my elementary school who were bullies always shouting at me and yes I always did cry in elementary school for 3 or 4 years I think, then a teacher in 3rd grade who threw down a notebook of mine in front of the whole class as I cried picking it up......(Kindergarten to 3rd grade) been bullied since 6th grade then all the bullying stopped there until rumors of me being a homo in high school just because I said "I loved my brother" as the love between siblings...SMH
Just sharing some personal life events that took place that may have caused me to adopt such outlook on life where AM 6 would have to be used many many times for someone from my life background.
