EPHRA v 1.0 Returning with A (Bad-Ass) Vengeance

[hiddenalias]

Day 29
July 22nd
Trickling Stream
vol 15
2 hours listened


So I was using my "new" phone today and forgot to set it into a loop and just listened for 30 min during sleep and then when I realized it I squeezed in another 90 min set it on loop and went on with my day.

I've had some noticeable experiences with EPHRA.....but 32 days is not going to be enough to dig deep into my mind to clear any mental garbage still present.

Like yesterday I felt comfortable around people to do some stupid things like dancing. But today at work, things started out good and I shook hands and tried to play it cool in the start joking with the workers like talking about giving me a nickname and introducing myself shaking hands to the coworkers. But during work I just stayed quiet.....however I felt relaxed and calm but still no interperosnal skills where I could talk and mingle with anyone......I know it was my first day there and it takes time for people to become acquainted with you.....but things I thought started out good but ended like I was a loser and no one cared about me there.....

Comfortable with things like dancing? That sounds pretty nice, man.

I know what you mean, about the staying quiet thing, that's usually how it is for me too at new places or with new people, I end up being quiet at times. In my experience I've noticed the more I expect out of myself at the start of a social event or interaction, the more likely I am to get nervous or anxious later on.

I think we have to take it easy with what we expect out of ourselves at work and other social situations, bro. The subs help a lot with social skills, but ultimately it takes time for the skillset and confidence to develop with experience. When I expected too much too soon, it blocked my progress heavily, I'd say try and just be forgiving with yourself for now. You gotta treat your mind like an old friend - help it along, don't whip it. It's the one thing that's easiest to forget.

Well to be more precise, I wasn't like break dancing out in the middle of aisle 13 in the baking section, I just did as much as using my wallet and tapping it on my hand creating a "beat" and "boogying down" creating a movement rhythmically along with the beat.... waiting for my turn standing in line with someone behind me and another guy sitting at a close sight distance taking a glance at my boogies.....

I know that first timers at work dont get acquainted instantly at the snap of a finger with other people on their first day. But I remained calm and like just stood on the sideline while others joined and formed groups chattering away and joking. Of course I am sure theyve known each other for ages....problem is I am naturally not the guy who is the comedian standing on the podium....I am not the guy who knows ice breakers to randomly break silence and build rapport.

I theorize a natural at the craft will immediately break ice and create bonds even on his first day. A craft I would love to hone someday.

I doubt EPHRA has anything to do with social skills.....lets leave that to AM perhaps?

It is just social anxiety for me and the meshing of not knowing what to say or break ice or even making up random stories to be funny whether the story is real or made up.

But what do you think about this? I am sure that is very common in the work place how coworkers have real crazy out of this world stories to tell every single day they come in to work and get others to laugh that really happened in their life.....

real life example, one guy at work talks about his cat having caesars......and got a chuckle out of his coworkers; they corrected him saying seizures not caesars; I already thought a cat with seizures was funny (not in a cruel way) the icing on the cake was how he thought it was caesars replacing the word seizures