07-23-2016, 03:34 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-23-2016, 09:56 PM by hiddenalias.)
Day 30
July 23rd
Trickling Stream
vol 15
6.5 hours total of listening
So here is some interesting insight.......today I was able to speak more calmly and upfront without fearing......today I felt calm when my "fiancee" was annoying the fuck out of me and I shouldve felt frustrated.....Let's get to these 2 events in more details.
1. My spouse that I am getting into an arranged marriage must have some insecurity issues that she wants to talk about stuff about me and claim it isnt true cuz other people talk shit and wants to clear the matter and talk over Skype about it.....and I am like if you want to say anything just text me having to talk on skype about it is unnecessary and then shes just putting words in my mouth that its how she "feels" about it and I dont get pissed off, I dont get annoyed, I remain calm and polite. I dont let the annoyance and unnecessary drama and fights get to me....I just tell her what I want to tell her and that's that. No frustration, no feelings of being annoyed and no anger. Just calm and direct. Usually I would just get upset or annoyed and extremely frustrated in such scenarios...
2. I talked to these SOBs at Metro PCS which by the way is the shittiest experience I have ever received in my days of using Prepaid phones......so I called out this guy at the "main headquarters" and told him like it was; I didnt fear saying it, I remained calm, direct, assertive with this guy who was possibly pulling a fast one on me.....I was loud, I didnt care that anyone in the store heard me; I just wanted to tear him a 2nd ahole. The fun part was when I told him I know how the corporate system works I've been in the industry.....literally he had nothing more to say he just shut up like he had no good comebacks......I was just a free speaker saying what I wanted to say not caring if I was yelling.....not feeling bad about it not feeling shy....or irrational. I accidentally pulled the cord with the sirens at the phone store accidentally and didnt get embarrassed about it just said sorry i didnt mean to i wont steal the phone jokingly.
Other interesting things that occurred...
1. I made my mom laugh and I rarely ever did that in a lifetime.
2. Some woman at metro pcs (I thought she was just a customer having small talk with me) sparked a conversation after I was speaking my mind at another metro pcs store; turns out she worked there but I dont know if she was talking cuz she liked my outspoken energy or that she was trying to sell me a phone doing her job seeing me as a customer or was it a turn on for her that she was hitting on me as I spoke my mind
3. Pulled over for an ambulance with sirens passing by and first time in my life he uses a loudspeaker to say thank you (for pulling aside) first time that ever happened usually you pull over to let them pass and they dont even thank.
I also felt comfortable around my bro in law and not anxious. I felt calm. I usually am ancy with his presence and said stuff making small talk statements and I usually never do that with him and my sister together watching something. I said it calmly and at ease calmly saying something...
July 23rd
Trickling Stream
vol 15
6.5 hours total of listening
So here is some interesting insight.......today I was able to speak more calmly and upfront without fearing......today I felt calm when my "fiancee" was annoying the fuck out of me and I shouldve felt frustrated.....Let's get to these 2 events in more details.
1. My spouse that I am getting into an arranged marriage must have some insecurity issues that she wants to talk about stuff about me and claim it isnt true cuz other people talk shit and wants to clear the matter and talk over Skype about it.....and I am like if you want to say anything just text me having to talk on skype about it is unnecessary and then shes just putting words in my mouth that its how she "feels" about it and I dont get pissed off, I dont get annoyed, I remain calm and polite. I dont let the annoyance and unnecessary drama and fights get to me....I just tell her what I want to tell her and that's that. No frustration, no feelings of being annoyed and no anger. Just calm and direct. Usually I would just get upset or annoyed and extremely frustrated in such scenarios...
2. I talked to these SOBs at Metro PCS which by the way is the shittiest experience I have ever received in my days of using Prepaid phones......so I called out this guy at the "main headquarters" and told him like it was; I didnt fear saying it, I remained calm, direct, assertive with this guy who was possibly pulling a fast one on me.....I was loud, I didnt care that anyone in the store heard me; I just wanted to tear him a 2nd ahole. The fun part was when I told him I know how the corporate system works I've been in the industry.....literally he had nothing more to say he just shut up like he had no good comebacks......I was just a free speaker saying what I wanted to say not caring if I was yelling.....not feeling bad about it not feeling shy....or irrational. I accidentally pulled the cord with the sirens at the phone store accidentally and didnt get embarrassed about it just said sorry i didnt mean to i wont steal the phone jokingly.
Other interesting things that occurred...
1. I made my mom laugh and I rarely ever did that in a lifetime.
2. Some woman at metro pcs (I thought she was just a customer having small talk with me) sparked a conversation after I was speaking my mind at another metro pcs store; turns out she worked there but I dont know if she was talking cuz she liked my outspoken energy or that she was trying to sell me a phone doing her job seeing me as a customer or was it a turn on for her that she was hitting on me as I spoke my mind
3. Pulled over for an ambulance with sirens passing by and first time in my life he uses a loudspeaker to say thank you (for pulling aside) first time that ever happened usually you pull over to let them pass and they dont even thank.
I also felt comfortable around my bro in law and not anxious. I felt calm. I usually am ancy with his presence and said stuff making small talk statements and I usually never do that with him and my sister together watching something. I said it calmly and at ease calmly saying something...
