07-21-2016, 05:58 PM
Last night was crazy. I've been exercising everyday for the past 17. Last night some doubt crept in. I said "hey, there's three weeks till we gotta move, do I need to workout today?" Even though i plan my exercises so they are beneficial for me doing it everyday it was fucking tough to get motivated. I had been doing so well and wanted a cheat day. Before I really had to buckle down. I really wanted to go some where, wear my nice leather jacket and get hammered. In these doubt filled moments I usual binge on either drinking or spending money. I mustered up all my resolve and decided that to try and exercise atleast. I managed to reach my short term goals for the workout again! Immediately after I took an uber to a bar. Got hammered. Drank rum and cokes, double. Whiskies, tequila straight then beer. I don't know if this was rationalized as my last "hoorah". Nothing could stop me from drinking. I earned my night of cheating. However it wasn't the healthiest choice. I sure am paying for it today. I know it was me suppressing some pain however I feel this "pain removal" has been a recurring theme. I've had to work to eat healthy, work to exercise daily on my terms and it makes me feel better about myself. I'm smiling at strangers now a days. I don't think I'll drink like that ever again. There was some satisfaction but more often I realize drinks or food or spending doesn't make me the man I was happy to be. Healthy choices do
