07-13-2016, 06:19 AM
(This post was last modified: 07-14-2016, 05:35 AM by hiddenalias.)
Day 20
July 13
Trickling Stream
vol 20
Listened for 6 hours
Dreams: I enjoyed this dream. Although it was a negative one but toward the end became positive. So what happened was I was dreaming I was in my dad's convenience store (he used to do businesses in convenience stores). So the dream somehow transitioned with the same characters I was interacting with in the dream from convenience to my old job where I was house sitting in the group home where residents were not allowed to do certain things up to a certain time.
Convenience store - The first thing I realized was that I was doing something in the store and didn't know there was a line building up at the register. When I was walking back out to the store area, the line was there waiting for me. So I made it up there and there was probably at least 4 or 5 people as it felt. In the store the feeling I got was "why arent these people leaving" after making their purchase.... "they are giving me a hard time" one scene I remember was that a girl I think used something from the store and didnt pay for it and left it sloppily for me and I chased her out upset and complaining to her why she did that; she just walked away didnt say nothing.
The other guys didnt want to leave the store and I had to close up....I guess what the sub was trying to say was that my subconscious is not assertive to push people out when they need to go.
The other dream in the group home was that the residents didnt take me seriously. They kept disrespecting me. I tried to stay polite and professional with them but I kept getting taken advantage of. I think in one of the scenes one guy was trying to pull a prank on me but I just played it cool and "haha" with him but then suddenly, at the last scene felt like a big crowd and that's when I became serious and stopped any bullshit nonsense that they were pulling and not let them roam around the home when their curfew time struck. So as there was loud mingling going on with one another, I felt like I had a loudspeaker and said "attention please" and started giving my assertive speech "it is almost 9pm" (at my group home job the curfew for the residents was 9pm to be in their bedroom) "please pack your things up and get going to your rooms. You are more than welcome to stay but I will write down your names who do not listen and will report you to my boss" As i was giving this speech I felt some people already making their way to their rooms. But it wasn't me that they were listening to, it was because of threatening to tell my boss that was their fear....but me confidently just telling them and getting fed up with their perspective of me about the deadline to be in their rooms was from my own self where I just couldnt take it no more but they did stop to listen as I made them get my attention....
End of dreams
So today I realized that trickling stream may be better for me than US tones. Because I felts effects for today I think after listening to trickling stream. Couple of things that stand out is there are people I don't want to talk to and usually I hesitate or avoid to want to deal with people. But today, I felt like even if I was thinking lets get this over with, that I had to talk to some people, I wasn't being immature or stubborn like I usually am to not want to talk to them because I get anxious or nervous and don't know what to say or talk about with such people but this time, I was calm even if I didn't want to talk to them.....and didn't know what to say etc.
I guess a sense of calmness over took me even when I had an interview I didn't feel anxious just calmness and relaxed....
Even any strangers that would come toward me, if at all, I said to myself I'd be ready to say anything to them if they tried to come up to me to talk, even unexpectedly....so calmness was the main thing that I felt and no anxiety or nervousness...
July 13
Trickling Stream
vol 20
Listened for 6 hours
Dreams: I enjoyed this dream. Although it was a negative one but toward the end became positive. So what happened was I was dreaming I was in my dad's convenience store (he used to do businesses in convenience stores). So the dream somehow transitioned with the same characters I was interacting with in the dream from convenience to my old job where I was house sitting in the group home where residents were not allowed to do certain things up to a certain time.
Convenience store - The first thing I realized was that I was doing something in the store and didn't know there was a line building up at the register. When I was walking back out to the store area, the line was there waiting for me. So I made it up there and there was probably at least 4 or 5 people as it felt. In the store the feeling I got was "why arent these people leaving" after making their purchase.... "they are giving me a hard time" one scene I remember was that a girl I think used something from the store and didnt pay for it and left it sloppily for me and I chased her out upset and complaining to her why she did that; she just walked away didnt say nothing.
The other guys didnt want to leave the store and I had to close up....I guess what the sub was trying to say was that my subconscious is not assertive to push people out when they need to go.
The other dream in the group home was that the residents didnt take me seriously. They kept disrespecting me. I tried to stay polite and professional with them but I kept getting taken advantage of. I think in one of the scenes one guy was trying to pull a prank on me but I just played it cool and "haha" with him but then suddenly, at the last scene felt like a big crowd and that's when I became serious and stopped any bullshit nonsense that they were pulling and not let them roam around the home when their curfew time struck. So as there was loud mingling going on with one another, I felt like I had a loudspeaker and said "attention please" and started giving my assertive speech "it is almost 9pm" (at my group home job the curfew for the residents was 9pm to be in their bedroom) "please pack your things up and get going to your rooms. You are more than welcome to stay but I will write down your names who do not listen and will report you to my boss" As i was giving this speech I felt some people already making their way to their rooms. But it wasn't me that they were listening to, it was because of threatening to tell my boss that was their fear....but me confidently just telling them and getting fed up with their perspective of me about the deadline to be in their rooms was from my own self where I just couldnt take it no more but they did stop to listen as I made them get my attention....
End of dreams
So today I realized that trickling stream may be better for me than US tones. Because I felts effects for today I think after listening to trickling stream. Couple of things that stand out is there are people I don't want to talk to and usually I hesitate or avoid to want to deal with people. But today, I felt like even if I was thinking lets get this over with, that I had to talk to some people, I wasn't being immature or stubborn like I usually am to not want to talk to them because I get anxious or nervous and don't know what to say or talk about with such people but this time, I was calm even if I didn't want to talk to them.....and didn't know what to say etc.
I guess a sense of calmness over took me even when I had an interview I didn't feel anxious just calmness and relaxed....
Even any strangers that would come toward me, if at all, I said to myself I'd be ready to say anything to them if they tried to come up to me to talk, even unexpectedly....so calmness was the main thing that I felt and no anxiety or nervousness...
