Shannon's Journal Discussion

[SargeMaximus]

I think I read in your journal that you used to think people were faking their smiles, and didn't like you, IIRC. Then you found out you were wrong, that their smiles were genuine, and you were surprised. Any chance you could be wrong about your perception, here?

That is a very good point...

I've never had sex with a woman I treated poorly. I've only had 6 different partners, as meeting my wife cut me short at the age of 28. Every sexual encounter had nothing to do with being a dick. Confidence, yes. Getting in shape, yes (probably helped my confidence). Other than that, I was just nice, interesting, and knew how to make a girl laugh.

Fair enough man. I can't explain it.

It may be like you say and I'm just seeing things differently, but I've stated many times how different girls came onto me, as in, physically touching me, following me out of malls, asking me what I'm doing that weekend [contextual, it was definitely a hookup attempt], or girls attempting to bond with me by saying how they viewed themselves as sex objects [kind of long story], so I dunno. Never had any of that when I'm being nice to girls. Most of the time they frown and be mean to me if I'm nice. Not even trying to get anything from them either. So who knows. But I'm starting to see it as "give the customer what she wants".

So me doing these things are making me be someone I am not to get someone that is not attracted to me but an image I have created pretending to be me.

I just want to stop trying to be someone I don't want to be, just let go and attract women that like me for me.

If not, I don't care no more. I would rather be me, the genuine me and attract a girl that likes me for my real self, then pretend to be someone I am not and attract a girl that likes me for this false me.

I feel like just being like **** you, take it or leave it, this is the real

This is just my humble opinion, therecis absolutely nothing wrong with youbtrying new things andntrying to improve your style. It just does not have to be done to impress women. Buy a nice shirt if you love it if you feel comfortable wearing it. Have a haircut if you feel like it.
As of this idea of " i am not myself" and i want to be the real me", believe me mate , there is no real you, there is no "you". We are performing all the time , all the time. So if you wear your torn up tshirt and shoes and think that is me, i do notnhave to pretend and wear something else. Then, you are just mistakingly thinking , you are what you are. I do not have time to go here into a philosophical discussion but i can give you a simple example of how i mean this. Think about language that you speak as a mother tongue, or even think about your name. Can you say something in that language that is you ( that has not been said before thousands times ). Arent you just performing a language competence that you were born into? Now to you name, let us imagine your real name is Adam. What does Adam has to do with you, did you even chose it? This level of performance haunts every aspect of our lives. So just do notnthink there is an essense to you. And if there was one, there is no way for you to get it. If your set of bliefs prompt you to buy a cheap shirt from walmart and think that is the most suitable and comfortable for me, then it is really so that the way you were brought up, things you watch and read your envirnment ect has led you to these set of thinking or beliefs. But that is still not you. If you prefer to wear a louis vuiton shirt because you want to be uptodate fashionable ect that is also not you. Because there is no you. You is caught up in what you blieve in from the others, the world

I agree with this 100%. And I, too, think it's too lengthy to get in to but, I dunno, just think about it.

Who are you, really? Answer that question, if you can.

It's waaaay too complicated but basically we are what we choose to be, and with every second we choose who we are by how we choose to respond (or not respond) to things.