Shannon's Journal Discussion

[DisneylandUSA]

Hey guys.

I'm on day 38 of E2, at 12-15 hrs per day. Not really noticing any effects besides a slight depression and major lack of motivation.
I read reports from fellow E2 listeners having vivid dreams and feelings of joy or happiness, but I don't recall ANY dreams or any feelings besides depression on E2. My baseline emotional state before starting E2 was normally "happy", I might add.

Hardly any interest in women, or hanging out with friends since a week into E2. Last two weeks I'm a hermit, playing videogames and wathing NetFlix in my lonesome...

In the beginning I got fatigued from listening 16+ hours, so I scaled down to 8 and worked my way up to where I can do 12+ without feeling burned out, but I'm still tired.

Is this resistance? Is E2 working for me? Should I do more/less hours? Should I be doing something to "help" E2? (I just press play, no meditation or whatever tapping is)

Gaah, I'm all over the place with these doubts and insecurities!

In short; is there a light at the end of this E2 tunnel, or am I seeing the train a comin'?

That's exactly what the program seems to do...

Works under the surface, almost TOO well. The result is you not really seeing much different for a long time, and this odd, latent, crappy, depressed feeling in the background and a massive loss of motivation to do things. That's exactly my experience, too. You just seem to vegitate while it does it's thing, keep in mind lethargy is also a common form of resistance. So yes, all of us are going through the "silent monk/lone wolf" phase on E2, lol...

It took me a good 35-40 days to see some signs of tangible life from it, I guess some of us, it takes a long time, either due to resistance, or due to us not seeing what it's doing for a long time as it's subtle and under the surface mostly.

Short answer: it's exactly as it should be. Stick with it longer, and you'll see more things changing. You won't know how exactly it's changed you until you're in a situation that you struggled with in the past, and can finally have a measure to compare now versus then for progress. Until then, it'll mostly be the experience described while it does it's job.

Keep going, Don Corleone!

Instead of being this incredibly painful journey to heal, it's way more stable low mood, until it starts going back up again. I couldn't even begin to imagine how hard it would be to deal with those things without E2, on my own. Today I'm having a quite relaxed and positive day after a long time of feeling depressed. It will get better for you too!

The waves and severity of the depression seems to vary from person to person. I am actually quite glad that these things get dealt with under the surface, doing this consciously could be quite painful and hard.

Have you received medical treatment for depression ? it may assist you