06-24-2016, 11:50 PM
I had an interesting dream. Well it wasn't that interesting, but after I thought about it I realized something. I have a relatively strong homophobia so I have been avoiding doing or saying things that might get a response "you are so gay". In the dream, there was this opera singing contest and for some reason I went on the stage and felt like I could win this thing. In the dream I had an incredibly high pitch voice, but I was afraid to sing with such a high voice since I thought I would be considered gay.
I don't think I'm gay though since nothing seems as disgusting as seeing another man's junk. I'm not saying I don't recognize another attractive person whether man or woman, but that is all. Maybe E2 will heal that and I can go full on gay
It does seem easier than all the drama with women that I have heard about.
Now the flipside of this is being ashamed of being with girls or showing any interest. This is SO fucking retarded. A fear of people seeing me show interest in a girl????? I am not 100% sure but I think this comes from bad religious teachings. I remember this one time a while ago when I was at a party and met this one chick who was relatively hot in my drunk state so I started talking to her "Do I know you?" and stuff. About a week later I met her at a bar and she mentioned that I wanted to kiss her to which I gave a panicky "No I didn't!!" answer. Only to realize 5 minutes later what I'd done.
Also I realized that I fall in love with women very fast and lose interest quite fast too.
I don't think I'm gay though since nothing seems as disgusting as seeing another man's junk. I'm not saying I don't recognize another attractive person whether man or woman, but that is all. Maybe E2 will heal that and I can go full on gay
It does seem easier than all the drama with women that I have heard about.Now the flipside of this is being ashamed of being with girls or showing any interest. This is SO fucking retarded. A fear of people seeing me show interest in a girl????? I am not 100% sure but I think this comes from bad religious teachings. I remember this one time a while ago when I was at a party and met this one chick who was relatively hot in my drunk state so I started talking to her "Do I know you?" and stuff. About a week later I met her at a bar and she mentioned that I wanted to kiss her to which I gave a panicky "No I didn't!!" answer. Only to realize 5 minutes later what I'd done.
Also I realized that I fall in love with women very fast and lose interest quite fast too.
