(06-07-2016, 08:02 AM)Shannon Wrote: I am more and more thinking AOSI/5.5G is too powerful to run at all with AM, and possibly other programs.
I agree. As much as it pains me, and as much as I want to run it right now, I think I'm going to let this AM6 run ride.
It's now 4 days since I ran AOSI and I'm STILL getting responses. Kinda. It's weird. This is what's going on:
So, long story short -- I'm still getting lots of IOIs and attention... but from older, undesirable women. The younger, more attractive women aren't giving me any play at all, but I was damn near stalked again while in Office Max.
I'm not sure if it's because the aura's fading, or if this crazy resistance is affecting it somehow. I wasn't going to say anything, but I'm not entirely sure if the resistance is coming from S4 of AM6.
A few days ago, I found out that a fellow colleague and entrepreneur had killed himself. I only met this dude in person once at a networking event, but we ended up kicking it together for the entire three days. There was something raw and authentic about him -- and that's something lacking in today's society. Everybody's trying to be SOMETHING, anything but themselves. He was just straight up real, holding his emotions and thoughts on his sleeve. The man was an experience. It's something I'm having a problem verbalizing, but it literally reminds me of Vin Diesel's tribute to Paul Walker at the end of Fast and Furious 7: "I used to say I lived my life a quarter mile at the time, and I think that's why we're brothers -- because you did too."
One night, we were chilling, listening to hip-hop and smoking and he confided in me how his wife was destroying his life. Cheating, lying, stealing his money and had recently started divorce proceedings. He was telling me how it was destroying his business. And I told him to take a breath, remember why he's in the game and focus his life and mission on that. He said he was good. We hugged. He left.
We chatted a few times via FB messenger after that. Kept meaning to work together, hook up. Never got around to really reconnecting, but I swear -- I thought about him a lot. Some of the convos we had. How he took on life with seemingly no fear. Looks like it overwhelmed him, though. And now she's on Facebook, talking about he was her "everything" and she doesn't know how she'll go on and shit. Basically, using his death to pull the spotlight on her.
This dude was doing good work in the world. He helped A LOT of beginners make enough money to start seeing their dreams -- and really didn't ask for much in return other than seeing them succeed. There is something missing from the sum of existence now that he's gone, and it pisses me the f*ck off that someone can just destroy a life and society gives no f*cks because she's got a vagina. And society reinforces this shit with this toxic masculinity nonsense, making men feel ashamed for their natural impulses -- so a small group of people can acquire power they don't even want. They just want to destroy. No interest in building.
I'm just ranting, but I had to get it out because I've been holding it in for a few days now, and I've spent the last few days just wanting to put my fist through a wall. In my first AM6 run, S4 was crazy fun. A feeling of zen, lots of confidence, etc. So, I'm not sure if it's the AM6 + AOSI combo, or if this thing's hitting me a lot harder than I realized. I haven't really worked on my own business since then. Like, what's the f*cking point?
Whole situation reminds me of some Lupe Fiasco lyrics:
Something about losing things, human beings
That reduces things to their most elementary
Find yourself where you never meant to be
With the energy of memories
That's the soul force of what's behind killing me
Finding pleasure in the pains
Like finding desert in the rain
Twisted: how this world can drive you masochistic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WccFQFltjA0
I'm sitting here looking at his Facebook, reading the stories of all these beginners he helped get into the game -- how he LITERALLY saved the life of this dude and his family, days from being homeless, by getting him a promotional deal. I'm just feeling some kind of way.
Bro -- I know at the end of the day, it was your choice to do what you did, but I can't help but to feel like society failed you -- myself included. Wondering if I should've picked up the phone when you called me last month. I was too busy chasing pussy to think if you really needed something, and I'm sorry for that. I really wish you could've found the peace you said you were looking for. We said we'd do something crazy together when we both passed that 1 million mark. Since you're not here, I'll have to live it up for both of us. As men, as entrepreneurs, we just all wanna leave our mark on this world. Well, I just want you to know that you did. I'll see you when I get there.
