Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal

[DisneylandUSA]

Day 4: Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind Effect? ZOMG!

Today it was a lovely, sunny day and it seemed to be a normal day overall but there was one thing I noticed this afternoon when I was walking in the park that really surprised me...

Basically, let's just say there's been a lot of emotional pain from certain things that happened between myself and the last man in my life, (even though that was over a year ago, by choice) not just when things ended but even at a couple points during. And although time has passed & I've worked on this, there's still been wounds there.

Anyway, today when I was walking in the park, I went to think about him, can't remember why but something made me think of him and what happened next startled me...

It's like all of a sudden, things are a little fuzzy. My brain is -- how do I explain this, even? It's like my brain is going, nope, NOT going THERE. Whereas before sometimes it was like picking a scab. The irritation causing me to try and dig deeper. Not always and I've been dealing but recently when I found a "portal" to him online if I wanted it all those questions were buzzing around my mind like angry bees.

Whereas all of a sudden my "don't give a F...-ness" around THAT subject has gone way up.

It feels like...like the time-frame's expanded. I mean, it feels like it all happened even a few years before it actually did, like it's been moved further into my past and things are noticeably harder to remember about us but also it's like my brain is a little repulsed by the notion of thinking about him at all. Like that trauma - and yes, some of HAS been traumatic and I'm not someone to dramatize such things! - is beginning to heal on a deeper level. Giving my heart and brain a break from the intensity of what I went through.

I really hope these effects continue.
I don't know if it will but I'm loving these effects....so so much.

Happy that it's giving your heart and brain a break from the intensity that you went through. A true Blessing