Well I think I got my groove back. Feels like I'm over that shit-laden hump I was on. Now you might say that it forced me to face what I need to work on, but it was overwhelmingly defeating. Past couple of days I'm walking and talking with more confidence. It's been easier to talk with women. I've struggled in the past with carrying a conversation. I've also noticed recently that some girls are paying me with more than just a glance. There's an element of infatuation. I can see it in their eyes. I was at a restaurant the other night and it was clear the waitress was attracted to me from the get go. I chatted her up a little when she visited our table. I seemed to be on the radar of more than one waitress there actually. Anyways I could have gotten her number and I thought up a cool way of asking for it, but I didn't. I noticed a window where I could have done it without any mental hesitation but then my 'reasoning' kicked in. My brain overpowered the new programming which felt instinctual and said, "Stop! This is not you. You can't have this."
Under heaven all can see beauty as beauty only because there is ugliness.
All can know good as good only because there is evil.
All can know good as good only because there is evil.
