Same night,
Hey ya'll. I just came back from the club.
A quick run-down.
I go wait outside the club, and text my friend to see where she is.
Two bigger girls come up to me, and one drunkenly keeps telling me that I'm 'cute though'. I go into the club, and can't find them. I run into these two girls again, and tell them to show me the other clubs. We enter one, and we dance a bit. This same girl tries to back up on me; I shrug it off.
I walk up to a group of three women and say 'hi'. One basically says "move along", so I do.
This whole time, I have this awkward feeling, not wanting to start conversations based on what other people would assume of me if I do. I've also realized how asexual I make myself in these situations, as I'm not owning up to any desire or sense of myself.
My friend texts me again, so I go back to the first club. My three friends are some black girls from the same health center I used to work for. They also had two guy friends. I was surprised at how they dance closely and switch amongst each other. But they were pretty placid between one another when they weren't dancing together.
We when back and forth between sitting and dancing. On one occasion, the same girl from outside the club came up and started dancing close. I shrugged it off again. But this black girl noticed and was giggling a bit to herself. I also had some sweet dance moves, and she noticed.
Anyways, I go up and ask "how are my dance moves?"
She replies, "bad," laughing.
I retort, "I have an excuse, though," pointing to my white arm. More laughing.
We go back and forth. She's from Jamaica; her accent is cute, her face is cute, her body is cute, her demeanor is cute. We made light conversation, but I did 'up the ante' with touching. I tried to do a slow dance, but I don't know how to dance, so it was awkward. But I didn't feel any emotional awkwardness.
She volunteered her Snapchat to me, but it didn't work, so she gave me her number.
It's strange that I don't have an urge or instinct to guide me, which is why I'm glad that I'm going to finish Chris Bale's energy session. Note that it's been 18 days since last PMO.
Hey ya'll. I just came back from the club.
A quick run-down.
I go wait outside the club, and text my friend to see where she is.
Two bigger girls come up to me, and one drunkenly keeps telling me that I'm 'cute though'. I go into the club, and can't find them. I run into these two girls again, and tell them to show me the other clubs. We enter one, and we dance a bit. This same girl tries to back up on me; I shrug it off.
I walk up to a group of three women and say 'hi'. One basically says "move along", so I do.
This whole time, I have this awkward feeling, not wanting to start conversations based on what other people would assume of me if I do. I've also realized how asexual I make myself in these situations, as I'm not owning up to any desire or sense of myself.
My friend texts me again, so I go back to the first club. My three friends are some black girls from the same health center I used to work for. They also had two guy friends. I was surprised at how they dance closely and switch amongst each other. But they were pretty placid between one another when they weren't dancing together.
We when back and forth between sitting and dancing. On one occasion, the same girl from outside the club came up and started dancing close. I shrugged it off again. But this black girl noticed and was giggling a bit to herself. I also had some sweet dance moves, and she noticed.
Anyways, I go up and ask "how are my dance moves?"
She replies, "bad," laughing.
I retort, "I have an excuse, though," pointing to my white arm. More laughing.
We go back and forth. She's from Jamaica; her accent is cute, her face is cute, her body is cute, her demeanor is cute. We made light conversation, but I did 'up the ante' with touching. I tried to do a slow dance, but I don't know how to dance, so it was awkward. But I didn't feel any emotional awkwardness.
She volunteered her Snapchat to me, but it didn't work, so she gave me her number.
It's strange that I don't have an urge or instinct to guide me, which is why I'm glad that I'm going to finish Chris Bale's energy session. Note that it's been 18 days since last PMO.
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
