05-31-2016, 06:19 AM
(05-30-2016, 10:13 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote: The issue is in defining the notion of "being worse off." While yes, I'm not winning as many matches as I have in the past, I'm also beyond relieved that I've let go of all that anger and rage that was fueling those "wins" in the first place. In the grand scheme of things, I can still handle myself against the random person on the street, and I'm sure I'll eventually learn how to wield my newly acquired mindset in the ring -- so what did I REALLY lose outside of a toxic mindset? In my case, what's happened is a refocusing from external validation (the winning of the fights) to internal validation (the perfect execution of the technique as an expression of self). Even calling that a "regression" is a bit unfair.
It's kinda like when I got my first 5-speed car -- I totally sucked. The mechanics of driving are essentially the same. You still press various pedals and the such to operate the car, but it does indeed require a modified mindset when driving. Did my driving ability "regress," or did I simply need time to get used to a new paradigm? I can Fast and Furious a 5-speed now and in fact, I now PREFER a 5-speed transmission. Just took awhile to get used to it. You've gotta pull the future into the present and experience it all at once rather than just looking at yourself in this narrow strip in time.
As for my comment about your end goal with women changing -- I can't say to a degree of certainty that they've shifted, but I adhere to the philosophy of watching shifts in a person's outward behavior to discover shifts in their inner world (as above, so below and all that good stuff). In your case, it was the fact that you began cold approaching with a fervor. Going from 0 to 100 would indicate a change in maybe not the end goal, but at least your attitude / thoughts in regards to women.
I get that it takes time to adjust to a new paradigm. The problem is, in this new paradigm, the result gas changed. Your car analogy doesn't quite fit becausebecause it's more like you got a new car and now it only moves if you've decided on a new destination. Which is totally useless, you don't buy a car so it can tell you where to go, you buy a car so you can go where you want to go.
As for the "as above so below" I'm still not following you. Not to mention I don't believe that philosophy anyhow. I once approached a woman and she was all like "I know it takes a lot of courage to approach" but it didn't at all. That's not the first time that the external reality didn't match my internal state either. It's happening more and more.
I have a different philosophy: people are dumb.
