Shannon's Journal Discussion

[chaosvrgn]

But, does that mean I was on the right path all along? I mean seriously: I've gotten worse with women as the years have gone on since discovering these subs. Does that mean I was right before and have somehow triggered myself to go on the wrong path? Does it mean that these subs are the wrong path for me?

I'm very confused.

I know you asked Shannon, but I'm gonna chime in because I'm dealing with this same dilemma. I'm on month, what... 10 of AM6? In many ways, I've improved beyond measure against who I was a few years ago. When I encounter people from the past, they're constantly telling me that they don't recognize me, or they can't believe how much I've changed. But between us all, there's things that I was once amazing at and now I'm completely falling off.

For example -- my martial arts. I was once a pretty fierce fighter. You knew getting in the ring with me was going to be quite the experience because I fought with an almost primal-like fashion. The fight would start and I'd just let my lizard brain take over and unleash a wildfire. Now, I'm getting my ass handed to me by people that shouldn't even lay a hand on me -- even though I'm training MUCH MUCH harder than before (as an entrepreneur, I have TONS of time to train now).

It took me quite a while to understand what was going on. My pre-AM6 martial arts training was fueled by fear and pain, which manifested in the form of rage that I direct toward my sparring partners. Thanks to AM6, that rage has largely dissipated, and I find my training is now fueled by a quest for self-mastery. When I fight, I notice that I now focus on the body mechanics of the technique, the marriage between mind and body and I judge myself on the harmony between my intent / will and what happens, not if I'm "winning the fight."

Unfortunately, this doesn't translate well to a full contact fight. What seems like "regression" may actually be the mind trying to catch up to its new reality. In my example, it's no longer having that eternal well of pain and sorrow to fuel my fighting style, and in a way, I've become a white belt again. A beginner. My entire reason for training has changed, that quest is completely new.

It's possible that you haven't gotten "worse," per se -- since your end goal with women seems to have changed, you've got to relearn the skills in line with what your subconscious desires are NOW rather than what they WERE.

Consider it a "rebirth" of sorts -- your reality is no longer what it was. The rules of your personal reality have changed, and you've gotta go with the flow.

I believe the change in intent is something to be celebrated on. Fighters who fight with rage often lack clairvoyance. Think Wanderlei Silva and the now Shogun Rua. Their rage was very useful during the early years but now they are getting their ass handed after the aggression is gone. The best fighters of all time aren't often the most powerful. Despite Mike Tyson, there is also Anderson Silva, Alexander Gustafsson, Jon Jones and many others. They are technically savvy and have great mastery over their mind and body. But I definitely do agree fighting with slight rage will increase the flow in the cage. The best representation is Conor Mcgregor's style, always pushing and giving pressure yet isn't flooded by rage.

Sometimes I am amazed at how a change in mindset results in change in fighting style. Interesting discovery for users who do martial arts.

Yeah, it's really crazy -- a few days into Stage 2, I began to notice that I was taking a near scientific approach to my training. I started changing the way I trained and logging the results. For example, I ditched punching with resistance bands for punching as fast as I could while holding free weights (an alleged no-no for martial artists) and logged the results. I measured my punching speed by recording video of my shadow boxing sessions. And so forth with other techniques and the such.

After awhile, what dawned on me was that I was using the training, my body and the results as a form of art and expression, pushing myself to limits I had never reached before. The focus had completely changed. Before, all my drills and exercises was for one point: to win those matches in the ring.

My focus is slowly shifting back to that, but it's different this time. I want to win not because I'm discharging all this anger and sorrow, but as another form of expression.

If that makes any sense, haha.