Shannon's Journal Discussion

[CatMan]

Thanks for the words, man! I mean that.

In my case, it isn't a social issue as I'm out in environments with lots of attractive women at least once a week for several hours.

There's a difference between being in environments with lots of attractive women for several hours, and being in an environment where you are TOUCHING attractive women for several hours (like salsa).

BIG difference.

Yeah, true.

I do seem to have intimacy issues, touching them like that and at close range, at a dancing class for a long period of time where I'm expected to do that, tends to make me nervous and uncomfortable. Many times when I seem to accidentally touch them for too long innocently, and they pull away, I always feel I was rejected somehow. Like I was doing something wrong and inappropriate which resulted in them pulling away. Then I feel guilty about it and inhibited further in the future. I feel it's a constant stream of negative feedback, it's hard to break out of the GSF aspects without some positive feedback to let me know I won't be rejected and embarrassed, or worse as I've had often too.

I thought I'd use this program AOSI to give me that positive feedback, but it's becoming more and more obvious, this program isn't right for me...

Honestly, half of me wants to just cycle E2 and AM/BASE and say screw this women-chasing-treadmill-rubic's-cube, and be done with it.