Drunk with anger and overwhelm, till the point I'm getting nausous. Something deep has to be hit by AM, and had glimpses and little breakthroughs last few days. Oh and the girl I'm chatting with doesnt even register right now. whatever. The nice messages of hers become boring right now to me. She asks what I'm up to and why my day is shit, makes me think I can't tell her that i'm running alpha male 6.0 5G and shitload is coming up. Always been an weak point to share feelings kind off, except when its sexual and I am on an roll.
Came back to Sigma and reading on sigma, also reading the 48 laws of power. The things that in my mind are lacking are an fire to be kindled and stuff where I can improve. Lots of stress piling up, heartrate increasing and all seems so futile.
I'm incredibly pissed off and sad. I like it for some reason. I dont know. I want to breakdown. Totally going from some sort of crazy likingness swinging over to the other side of the spectrum. An war going on. duality of man maybe, like 2 wolfs fighting over eachother and with eachother. Its fucking intens. Each mental image triggers me in another state. Arrogant, sad, feeling like an fucking god, to only feel down the next minute.
Came across an nice quaote on entrepreneurship and to imagine it when there wouldn't be such a thing as an government. That entrepreneurship is pure expression. Lays in line with sigma as well as black dragon.
Stage 3 is really kicking hard and it is kicking my ass. the first couple of weeks I didnt feel much, only empowerment and now all is going up in flames. Somewhat neat but feel like dying.
Realize I improve always one way or another, even if it is internal.
validation seeking is gone, i'm centred. Read some journals on AM6 and growing facial hair is something that comes up which I have in my run aswell. Not caring about it, just an observation. feeling very weird and epowered yet angry.
having some bullshit thoughts about being unphased witrh insults, at times I laugh about it, other times I get angry but know it will give drama. heh, something to work out because I get an "fear vibe" from it as I write this down. Holding tongue sucks big time and is working against me. Watched some guys respond and it shows an massive beta-degradation situation and status.
Identifying with sigma and entrepreneurship, its in line with myself. I can't see work myself for an boss, atleast working together at most, but my whole behaviour will radiate dominance. Oh well, BD's model is way more suiting aswell.
Thinking about delayed gratification and how its separated from long term happiness and tied in with mission. Its another way of operating and networking, things to think about still. My mindset revolves around objectivity ( as far as that goes ) in terms of goal getting, its almost fluid in terms of possibilities and an state shift of operating. I can go out, low money and chasing this, yet can also invest longer term so it will lead to long term happiness and freedom. In business doing and working on the market can nourish this liking, as it is outside the comfortzone. Operating tyhis way challenges and also causes growth. No limitations for the sake of comfort. Also feeling really strong this Alpha presence in my body right now. I can operate on an certain mindset but presence seems to be separated from this, alpha traits.
Never share the same bank account. I'm pretty much all for individuality. I'm solid in this, in governing my own, non-neediness but full responsibility and ownership, even now it is obvious. Reviewing some hierachy stuff through my head and having thoughts popping up in terms of an system, like the reporter eventually reports to someone higher in the hierachy and so on. Also, I'm naturally aspiring for the top, its as if my presence is automatically put on the highest rank, elevated.
Action instead of writing and theory.
Came back to Sigma and reading on sigma, also reading the 48 laws of power. The things that in my mind are lacking are an fire to be kindled and stuff where I can improve. Lots of stress piling up, heartrate increasing and all seems so futile.
I'm incredibly pissed off and sad. I like it for some reason. I dont know. I want to breakdown. Totally going from some sort of crazy likingness swinging over to the other side of the spectrum. An war going on. duality of man maybe, like 2 wolfs fighting over eachother and with eachother. Its fucking intens. Each mental image triggers me in another state. Arrogant, sad, feeling like an fucking god, to only feel down the next minute.
Came across an nice quaote on entrepreneurship and to imagine it when there wouldn't be such a thing as an government. That entrepreneurship is pure expression. Lays in line with sigma as well as black dragon.
Stage 3 is really kicking hard and it is kicking my ass. the first couple of weeks I didnt feel much, only empowerment and now all is going up in flames. Somewhat neat but feel like dying.
Realize I improve always one way or another, even if it is internal.
validation seeking is gone, i'm centred. Read some journals on AM6 and growing facial hair is something that comes up which I have in my run aswell. Not caring about it, just an observation. feeling very weird and epowered yet angry.
having some bullshit thoughts about being unphased witrh insults, at times I laugh about it, other times I get angry but know it will give drama. heh, something to work out because I get an "fear vibe" from it as I write this down. Holding tongue sucks big time and is working against me. Watched some guys respond and it shows an massive beta-degradation situation and status.
Identifying with sigma and entrepreneurship, its in line with myself. I can't see work myself for an boss, atleast working together at most, but my whole behaviour will radiate dominance. Oh well, BD's model is way more suiting aswell.
Thinking about delayed gratification and how its separated from long term happiness and tied in with mission. Its another way of operating and networking, things to think about still. My mindset revolves around objectivity ( as far as that goes ) in terms of goal getting, its almost fluid in terms of possibilities and an state shift of operating. I can go out, low money and chasing this, yet can also invest longer term so it will lead to long term happiness and freedom. In business doing and working on the market can nourish this liking, as it is outside the comfortzone. Operating tyhis way challenges and also causes growth. No limitations for the sake of comfort. Also feeling really strong this Alpha presence in my body right now. I can operate on an certain mindset but presence seems to be separated from this, alpha traits.
Never share the same bank account. I'm pretty much all for individuality. I'm solid in this, in governing my own, non-neediness but full responsibility and ownership, even now it is obvious. Reviewing some hierachy stuff through my head and having thoughts popping up in terms of an system, like the reporter eventually reports to someone higher in the hierachy and so on. Also, I'm naturally aspiring for the top, its as if my presence is automatically put on the highest rank, elevated.
Action instead of writing and theory.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
