Smiling less lately, its more of an natural resting face kind of thing. When I smile people don't give much of a shit, when I'm not, people suddenly pick it up, comment and shiot, my mood seems to change one moment to the next. Like, I will not change for anyone or anybody. As if I am processing rigth at this very moment. Makes me think when I got comments all the times that I had some sort of dark look in my eyes in my teens. People commented on that all the time, that I should smile more or some shit. ironically this caused people to approach and respond. Smiling overtly i fucking beta.
Stage 3 gives me lots of memories and flashbacks to when I was younger. I'm feeling stronger then ever yet notice I still avoid at times.
Am also having terndencies tol be left fully alone for some time, everything can fuck off right now. Definitely some anger going on and internal changes happening.
New woman at the gym, older then me I guee, curvy, blond, cute face, but pretty hot. Had some nice eye contact moments with her. Its as if my eye contact gets more solid and indiscinatory, butr more hitting and attraction is there. Also some other girl gave the deer in the headlights look at the gym, I locked and realized later. Its as if I let people gravitate to me lately, drawn to me. Like everywhere I go there is some sort of attraction, no matter what. Easy to make the leap that people are naturally attracted to me and I'm hot as fuck bordering on cocky arrogant ( It's true tho... )
I sleep longer on this stage, have tons of dreams and slip mostly back in the dream when waking up in between. Dreamed something about shadows.
Choices are mine, its not any more depending on the sub, buit ratehr I decide myself, perhaps integrating the sub at this point and hammering the programming deeper in my core.
I dont want to go back to the old program most people run on. I'm worth tons more.
Still have fears, the journey is not over yet, and these fears seem to be separated from being alpha, Like, yes I am alpha, but still have fears. Very profound realization.
I have an strong sense of resistance and it makes me feel euphoric like an chainreaction is set in motion right now. ( day19 ) aswell as thinking about what qualities I seek in woman, what turns me off.
currently reading the 48 laws of power again, with the desription of the laws and applying it, it makes more sense than just the laws written down as I felt it wasnt alpha, especially the dependence on the external. Lots of new ideas going thrpough my mind, I keep improving every moment.
Stage 3 gives me lots of memories and flashbacks to when I was younger. I'm feeling stronger then ever yet notice I still avoid at times.
Am also having terndencies tol be left fully alone for some time, everything can fuck off right now. Definitely some anger going on and internal changes happening.
New woman at the gym, older then me I guee, curvy, blond, cute face, but pretty hot. Had some nice eye contact moments with her. Its as if my eye contact gets more solid and indiscinatory, butr more hitting and attraction is there. Also some other girl gave the deer in the headlights look at the gym, I locked and realized later. Its as if I let people gravitate to me lately, drawn to me. Like everywhere I go there is some sort of attraction, no matter what. Easy to make the leap that people are naturally attracted to me and I'm hot as fuck bordering on cocky arrogant ( It's true tho... )
I sleep longer on this stage, have tons of dreams and slip mostly back in the dream when waking up in between. Dreamed something about shadows.
Choices are mine, its not any more depending on the sub, buit ratehr I decide myself, perhaps integrating the sub at this point and hammering the programming deeper in my core.
I dont want to go back to the old program most people run on. I'm worth tons more.
Still have fears, the journey is not over yet, and these fears seem to be separated from being alpha, Like, yes I am alpha, but still have fears. Very profound realization.
I have an strong sense of resistance and it makes me feel euphoric like an chainreaction is set in motion right now. ( day19 ) aswell as thinking about what qualities I seek in woman, what turns me off.
currently reading the 48 laws of power again, with the desription of the laws and applying it, it makes more sense than just the laws written down as I felt it wasnt alpha, especially the dependence on the external. Lots of new ideas going thrpough my mind, I keep improving every moment.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
