05-17-2016, 02:56 PM
Thanks Shannon! 
Oh boy. I really suck at keeping a journal. Even the private journal I keep is not updated regularly, and when I do update it, it has lots of very personal stuff which I cannot share here. However, I will try to summarise what happened this last month.
The very same day after my last post, I experienced a VERY serious outbursts of anger/anxiety/fear etc. Even my flatmates could not recognise who I was. I guessed some underlying issues were being uncovered and ASC was not the best sub for me at that moment. I took a couple of days off and then switched to the free EPRHA. I have been on it since then (missing just a day), listening to mostly US with speakers in the room not far from my bed. I get 12-15 hours most days.
So far, here are the results:
- Dreams have been very vivid. (I even had a lucid dream once!) In one of the dreams, I was with my best friend who passed on last year. In the dream, I was aware he was dead but I had absolutely no problem with it. I even tried to convince him to stay in the world of the living.
- I am able to deal with embarrassing situations in a more matured manner. From a very young age, I developed a system of "hiding" embarrassing events in certain parts of my brain never to be revisited. If such memories managed to creep out, I will quickly shove them back in there. This, as I realise, made me not to look at the root cause of such situations, and thereby never really solving them. In fact, it was so bad I could not bare to look at embarrassing auditions/acts on TV. I would always throw a pity party for the victim. For example, I could not watch the complete video of Steve Harvey's mess up of Miss World award. Two weeks ago though, I was watching Britain's Got Talent, and more than 30 minutes into the programme, I realised this difficulty had been GREATLY reduced. I was even sounding like Simon Cowell. It was weird but it seemed like that had been me all along (Thank you naturaliser).
- People seem to respect me more which is a bit strange as I did not expect such changes from this sub. I don't know if it is the result from my short run of ASC or EPRHA.
- I am beginning to speak what is really on my mind. I still feel anxiety, a lot sometimes, but I do it anyway - all this while maintaining firm eye contact.
- I really think there is a lot more change going on which I can't really put my finger on because of the naturaliser, which is not bad of course. I will give credit when I figure it out.
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I bought sleepphones last week to help me get more benefits from subs as I have mostly been listening to US with a stereo set in my room. It's been good to far but sometimes they slide to the corners of my head, or I take them off uncounciously in the night. Is it ok to listen to the masked version on sleepphones while playing the US of the same sub on stereo? I have done this a couple of night so I can still get some benefits even if the sleepphones slide off. I know the dangers of mixing sub, but I have not read anything about listening to the same sub from two audio sources at the same time. Is there any problem with that?
Has anyone ever experienced something like electricity flowing through the brain while listening to subs? I have had it three times (all before I bought sleepphones). All three times were in the night when I was listening to the US on stereo. It was neither painful nor uncomfortable - just a weird exciting feeling of my brain "sparking". It lasted for about 20-30 seconds on all occasions. I don't know if this is good or bad.
Oh boy. I really suck at keeping a journal. Even the private journal I keep is not updated regularly, and when I do update it, it has lots of very personal stuff which I cannot share here. However, I will try to summarise what happened this last month.
The very same day after my last post, I experienced a VERY serious outbursts of anger/anxiety/fear etc. Even my flatmates could not recognise who I was. I guessed some underlying issues were being uncovered and ASC was not the best sub for me at that moment. I took a couple of days off and then switched to the free EPRHA. I have been on it since then (missing just a day), listening to mostly US with speakers in the room not far from my bed. I get 12-15 hours most days.
So far, here are the results:
- Dreams have been very vivid. (I even had a lucid dream once!) In one of the dreams, I was with my best friend who passed on last year. In the dream, I was aware he was dead but I had absolutely no problem with it. I even tried to convince him to stay in the world of the living.
- I am able to deal with embarrassing situations in a more matured manner. From a very young age, I developed a system of "hiding" embarrassing events in certain parts of my brain never to be revisited. If such memories managed to creep out, I will quickly shove them back in there. This, as I realise, made me not to look at the root cause of such situations, and thereby never really solving them. In fact, it was so bad I could not bare to look at embarrassing auditions/acts on TV. I would always throw a pity party for the victim. For example, I could not watch the complete video of Steve Harvey's mess up of Miss World award. Two weeks ago though, I was watching Britain's Got Talent, and more than 30 minutes into the programme, I realised this difficulty had been GREATLY reduced. I was even sounding like Simon Cowell. It was weird but it seemed like that had been me all along (Thank you naturaliser).
- People seem to respect me more which is a bit strange as I did not expect such changes from this sub. I don't know if it is the result from my short run of ASC or EPRHA.
- I am beginning to speak what is really on my mind. I still feel anxiety, a lot sometimes, but I do it anyway - all this while maintaining firm eye contact.
- I really think there is a lot more change going on which I can't really put my finger on because of the naturaliser, which is not bad of course. I will give credit when I figure it out.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I bought sleepphones last week to help me get more benefits from subs as I have mostly been listening to US with a stereo set in my room. It's been good to far but sometimes they slide to the corners of my head, or I take them off uncounciously in the night. Is it ok to listen to the masked version on sleepphones while playing the US of the same sub on stereo? I have done this a couple of night so I can still get some benefits even if the sleepphones slide off. I know the dangers of mixing sub, but I have not read anything about listening to the same sub from two audio sources at the same time. Is there any problem with that?
Has anyone ever experienced something like electricity flowing through the brain while listening to subs? I have had it three times (all before I bought sleepphones). All three times were in the night when I was listening to the US on stereo. It was neither painful nor uncomfortable - just a weird exciting feeling of my brain "sparking". It lasted for about 20-30 seconds on all occasions. I don't know if this is good or bad.
Confront your problems. Walk away from BS. Seek wisdom to know the difference.
