05-12-2016, 11:51 PM
Literally had three women ages 20-21 hanging on my every word today after I had approached them. Had a pretty "heady" day as the underlying feeling of inescapable boredom came back into my life and I literally did everything and anything I could to change it. Ended up at a house party and just was sitting by myself on a couch contemplating what is going on now... Even though my life is going in a great direction. One of the women were sitting beside me and I initiated conversation about how our days went. She started complaining about her ankle and high heels and I happily lifted her foot and continued to flirt with her. Two of her other friends sat beside me and one was interested in me so I reciprocated the compassion. The third friend saying "he likes (Jess)" the girls name and we talked about how mature they look, how Jess lacks confidence and how her skirt is now looking like a waistband sitting on this couch next to me. Talked about bullies, insecurities and the words the Women were using such as seductive and sexy were key to my understanding how I was coming across to them which was quite evident of the program. These situations aren't hard for me to come by anymore but it really seemed unnatural to do initiate a foursome with them as this is what I had been thinking my potential is capable of after running this program. I come to a bit of a block thinking about what to do in order to escalate and come back to the boring realization of how much I would like these women to take the initiative. Anyways I come to think that the emotionally healthy side of me would just take the positives from tonight and move forward. However the ambitious and less self actualised side of me realizes that even though there's progress there's still a while to go to get to the level which I conciously want..
