The Modern Libertine's diary

[Cortez]

The Sex Magnet gave me an abundance of sexual energy recently. Well actually it was a combo of things. 1- The Sex Magnet and 2- The girl I was seeing moved away about a month ago to New York, so I haven't been having regular sex or been doing anything sexual in any way(I'm trying to censor this here, but I think you get what I mean). I've been allowing the sexual energy to build up and see where that takes me. When I was on Alpha Male, that wouldn't have been a problem because I favored the aloof state that it put me in and I could go quite a while without any kind of sexual release and feel great, but with the combo of the Sex Magnet, I had a massive surge of sexual energy and wanted to use it. I ended up finding myself looking at a lot of pictures of naked women whenever I happened to be bored or have nothing to do, but somehow didn't have the urge to...well you know. I would just look at them. This kind of messed me up for a few days, lol and I found myself wanting again. I had a massive build up of entropy as well, I think, because I went in to a sort downward spiral depression for a few days. Normally I don't think this sort of thing would even be worth mentioning, but for the sake of the Sex Magnet story, I'll provide details. Anyway, I realized what I was doing, stopped it and replaced the time I was looking at naked women with meditation. I love naked women, but feeding a fantasy is never good to do, lol and I know that. I was just way too horny and not giving myself any kind of release. I feel fantastic now and God am I dangerous around women. It feels great.