Cry Me a Trickling Stream - EHPRA 2.0

[ncbeareatingman]

Epiphanies Galore:

A few quotes from one of my favorite band’s new releases (Killswitch Engage, Incarnate):

“Put your fears to death, define your ascension.”

“Victim becomes the Victor.”

I caught these lyrics on the drive back home from a one day sight-seeing vacation with my wife and son. As the epiphanies popped into my head, I'd simultaneously catch the lyrics. Nifty coincidence.

We went to go see one of nature’s most amazing events in the world: The convergence of the Sandhill Cranes during their migration north. It’s been so close for so long, and I’m just now getting to experiencing it. Look this up, it’s just incredible. We decided to go after I had a, “Well, why shouldn’t we go and enjoy ourselves?” moment. Doing this increased my feeling of self-empowerment and freedom, as simple as it was. A trip side-note: A lady was talking super loud during the climax of the birds taking off from their roosting site on the river, and normally I’d be pissed and let it eat away at me without saying anything. Not today – I looked over and said (loudly), “Ma’am, do you mind?” She later came up to me and apologized for talking so loudly, to which I said, “Don’t worry about it, and have a great day!” with a smile and warm touch to her arm.

I’m beginning to transcend many old paradigms. I feel like I’ve emerged from a cocoon that I built when I started EHPRA 2.0. Now I’m a butterfly, but it doesn’t stop there. I’m building another cocoon. I feel like I’m going to keep going through metamorphoses.

I’ve begun to not care about what other people are thinking (at least in the negative sense), or what others have achieved. I’ve used other’s judgements, beliefs, and achievements as excuses for self-pity. I’ve used that self-pity to hold me down (by giving away my power in an underhanded, sneaky way), by pre-choosing my own failure through that comparison – whether or not I even want to be, do, or have what they do. I’ve used all of this to blame my failures on others.

I feel like I’ve had these tendrils that I’ve sent out into other people’s lives, and now I’m withdrawing them to gather and keep my energy and focus where I can control it, within myself.

Another realization: I don’t put much effort into anything as an excuse to justify failure, and hold myself down. At some point in my life, I became afraid of failing, and so to further “protect” myself – as well as become more “efficient,” – I stopped working hard. Why waste energy? Why even try? This excuse is starting to fall away. It just ensures failure and misery, and is another example of making myself the victim. No more. I’ve been victimizing myself in so many little, nefarious ways that I can now see it as I let go and disconnect from them. I know I’m not out of the woods yet, but I can see the open field beyond the tree line.

With each realization comes a surge of gratitude that near moves me to tears. I’m so thankful! I can feel a growing sense of confidence, as I literally take my power back under my conscious control. I can also attest to more accountability, without blame or guilt attached. Attaching guilt and blame to accepting responsibility may encourage people to...avoid accountability.

My mind is switching from “If, then” to “I am, therefore it is.” Instead of outside circumstances allowing me, I make the decision. Now, the outside will CONFORM TO ME!!

MAN yer faulkin amazing,just amazing!! Yer expereinces,renderings and testimonals are faulkin.amazing(yeah I Know I said it twice,it DESERVES SAYING twice:-) I cant wait to be be able to get E2 and get the ball rolling with it! thank you for the inspiration!! YOU Rock and then some, Man! Keith.!!