I came across a blog while googling about happiness. The post I found talked about how our country (the US, though I suspect this is true all over the world now) is more about goals and achievement than values. I couldn't agree more.
I had a very rich, but very unhappy client, who had taken his company that he inherited from his dad to unbelievable heights. He only had a high school education, but he had clearly honed himself into a business mind that I felt I could only envy. But everything I observed about him seemed contradictory. If he was so successful, why wasn't he happy? He had a huge house, drove a Mercedes convertible, multiple cars, a condo in Arizona, his wife never had to work a day in her life, their house was immaculately clean, he traveled the world, and had two kids that went to ivy league schools. He treated his body like complete crap - ate junk food even though he was Type II diabetic, was 100 lb. overweight, had a real nasty sense of humor only a dark mind could harbor (which, frankly, I harbor as well). He mistreated my pets when he came over to train. It just didn't add up.
I got into personal training to help people. Helping people, and seeing them happy, is what gives me satisfaction and happiness in my career. There was a client that I was very unhappy with, as I had tried everything to help her for 6 years. Along the way, we became friends, which caused her to think it was okay to disrespect me. She no longer listened to my advice, cancelled or rescheduled often, and dealing with her made me very unhappy. I confided in the rich, business-savvy client, about said unhappiness. He looked at me and said, "Take the money." I said, "So-in-so, you don't understand," and he laughed at me and said, "RTB, you don't understand. Take the money. Take it to support your family."
I took his advice, against my inner voice's advice. As my time with the client I wasn't helping increased, my unhappiness increased. I may have been taking the money, but the unhappiness I felt by not honoring my own value system started to invade not just my happiness on the job, but my happiness in the home. It infected every aspect of my life, including the people I love.
I have now stripped myself of the people who made my job miserable. If I'm not helping, or if my time is being disrespected, goodbye. I am putting my values first. Most people, including my dad, don't understand. But, at the end of the day, I'm happier because of it. I turned down business the other day, someone wanted me to come to their home to train them. I explained that between raising my son, my wife's schedule, and my existing client schedule, I wouldn't be able to make it work without considerable expense to them and what I would consider a headache in my lifestyle. I just don't want to be bothered with it. It's part of adhering to my value system, rather than achieving for achievement's sake. We have our basic needs met here at home, and then some. I would only be going against how I believe I want to live my life.
So I guess what I'm saying, in summary, is if you have met your basic human needs, don't go chasing achievement for achievement's sake. Figure out what your core values are and put energy into honoring them. Everyone's values are different, so don't base the choices you make on them. Honor yourself first.
I had a very rich, but very unhappy client, who had taken his company that he inherited from his dad to unbelievable heights. He only had a high school education, but he had clearly honed himself into a business mind that I felt I could only envy. But everything I observed about him seemed contradictory. If he was so successful, why wasn't he happy? He had a huge house, drove a Mercedes convertible, multiple cars, a condo in Arizona, his wife never had to work a day in her life, their house was immaculately clean, he traveled the world, and had two kids that went to ivy league schools. He treated his body like complete crap - ate junk food even though he was Type II diabetic, was 100 lb. overweight, had a real nasty sense of humor only a dark mind could harbor (which, frankly, I harbor as well). He mistreated my pets when he came over to train. It just didn't add up.
I got into personal training to help people. Helping people, and seeing them happy, is what gives me satisfaction and happiness in my career. There was a client that I was very unhappy with, as I had tried everything to help her for 6 years. Along the way, we became friends, which caused her to think it was okay to disrespect me. She no longer listened to my advice, cancelled or rescheduled often, and dealing with her made me very unhappy. I confided in the rich, business-savvy client, about said unhappiness. He looked at me and said, "Take the money." I said, "So-in-so, you don't understand," and he laughed at me and said, "RTB, you don't understand. Take the money. Take it to support your family."
I took his advice, against my inner voice's advice. As my time with the client I wasn't helping increased, my unhappiness increased. I may have been taking the money, but the unhappiness I felt by not honoring my own value system started to invade not just my happiness on the job, but my happiness in the home. It infected every aspect of my life, including the people I love.
I have now stripped myself of the people who made my job miserable. If I'm not helping, or if my time is being disrespected, goodbye. I am putting my values first. Most people, including my dad, don't understand. But, at the end of the day, I'm happier because of it. I turned down business the other day, someone wanted me to come to their home to train them. I explained that between raising my son, my wife's schedule, and my existing client schedule, I wouldn't be able to make it work without considerable expense to them and what I would consider a headache in my lifestyle. I just don't want to be bothered with it. It's part of adhering to my value system, rather than achieving for achievement's sake. We have our basic needs met here at home, and then some. I would only be going against how I believe I want to live my life.
So I guess what I'm saying, in summary, is if you have met your basic human needs, don't go chasing achievement for achievement's sake. Figure out what your core values are and put energy into honoring them. Everyone's values are different, so don't base the choices you make on them. Honor yourself first.
