Since yesterxday i experience tiredness, anxiety and depression. My eye contact is not consistent, I'm aware of the "creepiness|"petterns and beliefs but its causing me to feel worn out drastically. More then once felt like almost hitting some breaking point. there are positive momnents aswell but shit hits the fan currently.
Did hit the gym to and felt something slowly being lifted up in terms of that, right in the moment, like my eyes did wander to find someone to lock with more then once. gstting glances from women aswell, older ones, its not making sense to me as to why im so anxious about this all. I dont get the issue with this all, in fact, I feel somewhat closer in making sense as in "women are just women and girls are not outside my reality"kind of stuff. Socially im feeling lesser connecting. I want to but feel limiting.
Its just an trigger impulse that happens, like an "busted"klind of reaction causing some slight crumbling.
Just want to cry , lol.
Edit: not taking stuff to serious in all of it, dont give a fuck, do the fuck you wanna do.
Social way more flowing, less inhibited and speaking my mind way more easy. Cut off bs directly and am flowing in it all. had some nice interactions going on today. Did speak my teen crush back then but realize all the interactions are that, interactions. It doesnt stick in my mind at all. Im awesome anyway. Its this unstoppable confidence thats very profound now, some stuff in terms of needyness and non needyness make absolute sense now, its being self validating.
Shame and fear is reduced way more, am more joking around it, at times a bit harsh when i speak my mind. An claiming of my reality. Did shake and became self aware when speaking to this teenage crush of mine and it was a bit awkward in that. Nothing lost.
Eye contact is again back as it was without second thoughts, its just lock, prolongue and thats about it. made some eye contact with an new women at work without saying an thing, and it lit her up a bit. Did introduce directly aswell as bond directly. The vibe was absolutely there. Seeking the challenge more, more assertive and disagreeing, making fun of people aswell. In the moment what comes up I can easily push through with now. the fear is just gone for the most.
Am also less impressed by guys which was something that did happen before coming in contact with subs and what not. Its like my mind naturally place them as an blank slate without ay connection and am not impressed, just noticing and whatever. Girls become more normal aswell, its not really bothering me. Lots is no longer bothering me. Also feel not traveling back and seeking for results in that manner. Its gone and thats fine.
having tons of dreams aswell.
Did hit the gym to and felt something slowly being lifted up in terms of that, right in the moment, like my eyes did wander to find someone to lock with more then once. gstting glances from women aswell, older ones, its not making sense to me as to why im so anxious about this all. I dont get the issue with this all, in fact, I feel somewhat closer in making sense as in "women are just women and girls are not outside my reality"kind of stuff. Socially im feeling lesser connecting. I want to but feel limiting.
Its just an trigger impulse that happens, like an "busted"klind of reaction causing some slight crumbling.
Just want to cry , lol.
Edit: not taking stuff to serious in all of it, dont give a fuck, do the fuck you wanna do.
Social way more flowing, less inhibited and speaking my mind way more easy. Cut off bs directly and am flowing in it all. had some nice interactions going on today. Did speak my teen crush back then but realize all the interactions are that, interactions. It doesnt stick in my mind at all. Im awesome anyway. Its this unstoppable confidence thats very profound now, some stuff in terms of needyness and non needyness make absolute sense now, its being self validating.
Shame and fear is reduced way more, am more joking around it, at times a bit harsh when i speak my mind. An claiming of my reality. Did shake and became self aware when speaking to this teenage crush of mine and it was a bit awkward in that. Nothing lost.
Eye contact is again back as it was without second thoughts, its just lock, prolongue and thats about it. made some eye contact with an new women at work without saying an thing, and it lit her up a bit. Did introduce directly aswell as bond directly. The vibe was absolutely there. Seeking the challenge more, more assertive and disagreeing, making fun of people aswell. In the moment what comes up I can easily push through with now. the fear is just gone for the most.
Am also less impressed by guys which was something that did happen before coming in contact with subs and what not. Its like my mind naturally place them as an blank slate without ay connection and am not impressed, just noticing and whatever. Girls become more normal aswell, its not really bothering me. Lots is no longer bothering me. Also feel not traveling back and seeking for results in that manner. Its gone and thats fine.
having tons of dreams aswell.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
