04-06-2016, 10:12 AM
I'm nearing the final days of 3 months on ASC. I'll be stopping at 95 days, that way I can get 3 days rest until I start E2 on Monday.
The goals I set now seem a little weird, there's no consistency in the results. Sometimes I feel confident, sometimes not.
On things that have improved:
-Body language: I feel much taller when I walk. There's often a lot of tension so I can't stay put for long periods of time, but that's ok, who said I have to stay put all the time? Just some bs childhood beliefs.
-Improve my beliefs and view on women: I expected this to go a whole other way than it has. My beliefs have become more and more similar to what I read from Dzemo's journal. That surprised me since I expected "improving my beliefs" to go more toward accepting of women, but instead I feel more and more resentful and angry. This isn't towards women only though, in people general. On a second thought, this isn't new. I have always had resentment, but it has been deep and hidden away. Now it's more on the surface so people can pick up on it. Will keep an eye on this on E2.
-Confident thinking: Occasional.
-Be confident in my abilities: Oh yes, this has improved a lot and I think this is the only extremely obvious result. Related to video games
I have played fps games for at least 12 years so I have probably over 10,000 hours under my belt. Never have I had so consistently "high" skill level than I have now (this started showing around the 2-2,5 month mark).
I am also confident in my language improving capabilities. I am taking a class to improve one of my spoken languages and the confidence shows at times.
-To be ripped by the summer: I might have gone a little over board with that since I lost some lean mass. 8.4%bf 70kg (64.1kg lean)
I think the biggest muscle mass loss came when I got sick and couldn't workout or get out of bed for the past week and a half.
There has also been some negative things happening with ASC. My acne has come back and it's incredibly annoying since it takes many weeks to disappear (and that's with acne medicine). This is likely to do with resistance and anxiety that came with ASC. Another thing is that a lot of self hatred has surfaced on ASC. This is not easy to let go of, so hopefully E2 will shine some more light on this issue.
Overall ASC hasn't been too bad, I did hope for a little more progress in those months, but ASC has delivered some solid results never the less.
The goals I set now seem a little weird, there's no consistency in the results. Sometimes I feel confident, sometimes not.
On things that have improved:
-Body language: I feel much taller when I walk. There's often a lot of tension so I can't stay put for long periods of time, but that's ok, who said I have to stay put all the time? Just some bs childhood beliefs.
-Improve my beliefs and view on women: I expected this to go a whole other way than it has. My beliefs have become more and more similar to what I read from Dzemo's journal. That surprised me since I expected "improving my beliefs" to go more toward accepting of women, but instead I feel more and more resentful and angry. This isn't towards women only though, in people general. On a second thought, this isn't new. I have always had resentment, but it has been deep and hidden away. Now it's more on the surface so people can pick up on it. Will keep an eye on this on E2.
-Confident thinking: Occasional.
-Be confident in my abilities: Oh yes, this has improved a lot and I think this is the only extremely obvious result. Related to video games
I have played fps games for at least 12 years so I have probably over 10,000 hours under my belt. Never have I had so consistently "high" skill level than I have now (this started showing around the 2-2,5 month mark). I am also confident in my language improving capabilities. I am taking a class to improve one of my spoken languages and the confidence shows at times.
-To be ripped by the summer: I might have gone a little over board with that since I lost some lean mass. 8.4%bf 70kg (64.1kg lean)
I think the biggest muscle mass loss came when I got sick and couldn't workout or get out of bed for the past week and a half.
There has also been some negative things happening with ASC. My acne has come back and it's incredibly annoying since it takes many weeks to disappear (and that's with acne medicine). This is likely to do with resistance and anxiety that came with ASC. Another thing is that a lot of self hatred has surfaced on ASC. This is not easy to let go of, so hopefully E2 will shine some more light on this issue.
Overall ASC hasn't been too bad, I did hope for a little more progress in those months, but ASC has delivered some solid results never the less.
