(03-25-2016, 04:48 PM)essy Wrote: Just read something on theredpill sub-reddit that spoke to me. It's HERE if you're interested, but I'll summarize it for you. This guy was a dating coach who met a lot of late bloomers. I lost my V at 25 so I can relate. He talks how a number of these guys put in the work to become successful with women yet remained unfulfilled. He argues that this is because not getting laid was part of a bigger problem which is that these guys have never been on top of the social hierarchy. I never looked at it this way, but I have certainly felt and continue to feel a hole in my life (which this article has helped me to define) from the absence of being a social winner.
In grade school I was teased and bullied for being overweight, and in high school my popularity on a scale of 1-10 never exceeded a 6. At best, I have been at the top of the pecking order of a group of betas. The OP also talks about how it can be challenging once you're out of school to join the in crowd or create one that you rank highly in, and I can relate to that too. The people I know who were popular in the past still participate in some form of those social circles. And that history has informed their character. I've spent my 20s rebuilding myself, which puts me in a unique position, but I don't have those connections or experiences to draw upon.
Let's be real here. We are talking about social validation. We can argue about how a real man should generate validation from within, but we are human beings. Social animals that fall into a hierarchy whether we like it or not, and our place in it determines to an extent how we are treated and what benefits we enjoy.
The OP offers no suggestions on how to build up a social presence or reconcile a past of social estrangement. It's hard to relate to people when you don't have those experiences to draw upon. I need to work on this. Any suggestions?
Interesting i have never seen it from this side
I for example complain a lot and feel this hole
And its a good article thats why i am shocked when poeple say to me you need validation i mean who needs not.
