It sounds to me, after reading your journal, like you are being transformed by the manifestation to be ready and able for this perfect boyfriend you are manifesting. That is something I had not noticed before, but it makes perfect sense. I really love seeing that you are becoming more and more self valuing, and more self supplying and self respecting. Shy of a smart woman, the sexiest woman is one who has self respect.
I would like to share with you some thoughts on soul mates. Take this or leave it, but consideration may be helpful.
You say you know that M is the one, and that he will come back. Whether or not that is true, he does not necessarily have to come back in this lifetime. You are never allowed to interact with your "twin flame" unless doing so will not interfere with what you are learning. This is because the lesson is more important, and the connection is there regardless. So unless and until you have learned whatever you are here to learn, you are unlikely to experience your twin flame unless doing so is part of learning that lessons. Which does happen, but it is not always the case.
The experiences you describe tell me that you are learning self appreciation, self love, and self valuation. Standing on your own two feet, as it were. I went through that also; spent the first 36 years of my life in constant terror because my mother raised me to be helpless instead of to overcome my fears, which I suspect she did so she could feel needed. When she died, I was suddenly all alone, and there was no choice. It was grow or die. Well, I didn't die. But I grew, and now I love being by myself. Even when I have a girlfriend, I don't let them live with me. My space is my space and I need that alone time.
Back to my point, you are growing, and that can only be a good thing. But you should let go of M. If he really is your twin flame, he will always be connected to you and you will always be together through that connection. But if it is not time for him, then you are limiting what you can experience and achieve in the mean time by holding on. That can actually prevent you from having experiences you want to have, because subconsciously you resist them in favor of someone else who is not there.
What is yours comes back to you. What is not flies away. In the mean time, you have a garden to grow. Let go of the butterfly, and grow your garden. When the flowers bloom, you'll find that your butterfly shows up quite naturally. But maybe in the meantime, someone else can help you enjoy your garden.
I would like to share with you some thoughts on soul mates. Take this or leave it, but consideration may be helpful.
You say you know that M is the one, and that he will come back. Whether or not that is true, he does not necessarily have to come back in this lifetime. You are never allowed to interact with your "twin flame" unless doing so will not interfere with what you are learning. This is because the lesson is more important, and the connection is there regardless. So unless and until you have learned whatever you are here to learn, you are unlikely to experience your twin flame unless doing so is part of learning that lessons. Which does happen, but it is not always the case.
The experiences you describe tell me that you are learning self appreciation, self love, and self valuation. Standing on your own two feet, as it were. I went through that also; spent the first 36 years of my life in constant terror because my mother raised me to be helpless instead of to overcome my fears, which I suspect she did so she could feel needed. When she died, I was suddenly all alone, and there was no choice. It was grow or die. Well, I didn't die. But I grew, and now I love being by myself. Even when I have a girlfriend, I don't let them live with me. My space is my space and I need that alone time.
Back to my point, you are growing, and that can only be a good thing. But you should let go of M. If he really is your twin flame, he will always be connected to you and you will always be together through that connection. But if it is not time for him, then you are limiting what you can experience and achieve in the mean time by holding on. That can actually prevent you from having experiences you want to have, because subconsciously you resist them in favor of someone else who is not there.
What is yours comes back to you. What is not flies away. In the mean time, you have a garden to grow. Let go of the butterfly, and grow your garden. When the flowers bloom, you'll find that your butterfly shows up quite naturally. But maybe in the meantime, someone else can help you enjoy your garden.
Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
