03-07-2016, 11:02 AM
(03-07-2016, 07:23 AM)LionKing Wrote: ...But that's me, I have always required a lot of space and I need and want boundaries. We'd have certain things we'd pay together and the sums on those would be agreed on. Then, as long as we could both pay those bills, both would be absolutely free to buy whatever they decided to buy. If I needed to take a personal loan to do that, then that'd be my personal decision. But again, that's just how I am.
I think what triggered me to post were "I didn't tell her", which I connected with shame and avoidance based on my past experiences. Living with a woman, I've found its very very easy to let small things slide and gradually drift into situations where the man (me) feels like he "should" and "shouldn't" do a lot of things that he might want to, just because the woman has somehow expressed with non verbals that she would like or not like, or would be disappointed by, some actions even though logically those things might not make perfect sense. So the man agrees to avoid useless tension. And tension is emotion, which is passion. But I'm sure you're fine, I'm saying why I posted. Gonna shut up now.
I appreciate the input - no reason to feel justified in posting. I want this journal to be conversational, and if you want to be part of the conversation, hop in. If someone wants to share an opinion, or has advice, I'm all for it unless it's a direct attack, or not constructive in any way.
I'm glad you brought up how you would do it, in your situation. It's important to recognize that we are all our own individual selves, and "Know thyself," is one of the key aspects to being happy. I'm starting to see more and more that self-validation and acceptance for who you are and using that as your strength, rather than seeing aspects of yourself as weaknesses, is very important to living a more successful and happy life.