Another MLS Journal :p

[Life]

I loveee this journal

[Why So Serious?]

@hiddenalias Maaaayyyyyyybbbbeeeee

@Guider Seriously, don't know why but hey whatever floats your boat.

Have no clue why but lately I have been feel AF at work. I'm kind of disappointed that none of this didn't break through while I was listening for a year. Oh well.

My memory has improved a little but unfortunately it works for stuff you actually want to remember.

I'm getting to the point where I can watch a youtube video and have most of the important stuff memorized. What's strange is now I come home and and want to learn more about accounting. Guess that's the motivation kicking in. It sucks that procrastination gets in the way. Still working on that.

Drawing has slowed down a bit wrist is getting a little worse. I'm staring to think about things more as an artist would. Really happy about that.

Nothing else to report on.

[Why So Serious?]

Just learned how much of a self-entitled a-hole I am. Now I need to learn how to fix it.

My motivation for drawing has changed. It happened when I was actually trying to draw seriously last night. Just putting as much time and effort as I could into practicing. That doesn't mean I'm stopping (bad wrist or not) just need to rethink my prioritizes for drawing stuff.

I think my prioritizes are shifting in general. I was going to run AF again are this but I think BASE is needed at the time. I find it very difficult to be "alpha" with a min. wage job and still living at home. So I need to get that taken care of ASAP. I also figure since I'm saving up for some equipment that cost 3 times as much.....why not get my finances in order.

[Darkness]

Just learned how much of a self-entitled meanie I am. Now I need to learn how to fix it.

My motivation for drawing has changed. It happened when I was actually trying to draw seriously last night. Just putting as much time and effort as I could into practicing. That doesn't mean I'm stopping (bad wrist or not) just need to rethink my prioritizes for drawing stuff.

I think my prioritizes are shifting in general. I was going to run AF again are this but I think BASE is needed at the time. I find it very difficult to be "alpha" with a min. wage job and still living at home. So I need to get that taken care of ASAP. I also figure since I'm saving up for some equipment that cost 3 times as much.....why not get my finances in order.

I think BASE would be a good investment , it'll make you more alpha and motivate you in a fiscal direction .

[Why So Serious?]

Just learned how much of a self-entitled meanie I am. Now I need to learn how to fix it.

My motivation for drawing has changed. It happened when I was actually trying to draw seriously last night. Just putting as much time and effort as I could into practicing. That doesn't mean I'm stopping (bad wrist or not) just need to rethink my prioritizes for drawing stuff.

I think my prioritizes are shifting in general. I was going to run AF again are this but I think BASE is needed at the time. I find it very difficult to be "alpha" with a min. wage job and still living at home. So I need to get that taken care of ASAP. I also figure since I'm saving up for some equipment that cost 3 times as much.....why not get my finances in order.

I think BASE would be a good investment , it'll make you more alpha and motivate you in a fiscal direction .

I hope so. I'm nervous and excited about starting it at the same time.

[Nox]

I wonder how this would work with you going to BASE after. Since it includes MLS, it might have an even better affect geared to what you want.

Are you planning on 3 or 6 months of MLS?

[Why So Serious?]

I wonder how this would work with you going to BASE after. Since it includes MLS, it might have an even better affect geared to what you want.

Are you planning on 3 or 6 months of MLS?

That's an interesting theory. I'll find out later.

5-6 months Don't have the money to buy it right now.

[Why So Serious?]

Getting close to the two months.

I'm learning more about myself since starting this sub. Kind of odd cause I thought it just helped with learning subjects, but hey I'm not complaining.

Priorities are still shifting.

Oh and some exciting news I think I figured out a way to beat my internet addiction. Just came to me while taking a bath. It's so simple too, but I have to do my part and keep up with it.

Yeah............ that's it for now.

[Spareness]

Getting close to the two months.

I'm learning more about myself since starting this sub. Kind of odd cause I thought it just helped with learning subjects, but hey I'm not complaining.

Priorities are still shifting.

Oh and some exciting news I think I figured out a way to beat my internet addiction. Just came to me while taking a bath. It's so simple too, but I have to do my part and keep up with it.

Yeah............ that's it for now.

Nice. I have internet addiction too. I will do that too someday.

[Why So Serious?]

Getting close to the two months.

I'm learning more about myself since starting this sub. Kind of odd cause I thought it just helped with learning subjects, but hey I'm not complaining.

Priorities are still shifting.

Oh and some exciting news I think I figured out a way to beat my internet addiction. Just came to me while taking a bath. It's so simple too, but I have to do my part and keep up with it.

Yeah............ that's it for now.

Nice. I have internet addiction too. I will do that too someday.

Just get it done before it's too late.

You start to realize you wasted all that time staring at a screen. It's sad.

Anywho been doing some snooping on the forums. One thread that caught my eye was catman's thread with Shannon posting about being more responsible. Which is a very strange coincidence because I was starting to read the 7 Habits again. And I'm still on the chapter that deals with responsibility. I even got answers to questions that had about responsibility. Scary
All I can say is that I am doing my best to put this to practice and it is difficult.....very difficult. What's strange is that you start to realize how much freedom you have. It's difficult to explain...... one of those things you have to do or at least try.

On the internet thing relapsed night but I'm not to worried just got to keep working at it. I know it's going to happen just got to figure out what went wrong and take it form there.

[Why So Serious?]

Just get it done before it's too late.

You start to realize you wasted all that time staring at a screen. It's sad.

I've realized it's quite a long time. Now, I have a new idea to use a computer. This is something I have long dreamed of, something more meaningful.

That being said. I'm constantly trying to improve my computer experience to become more efficient, simple, minimal and stress free.

I must admit I was very relieved when away from the computer out of the house. I can not say it with words, when I feel it. A kind of feeling bliss.

I still think of fun activities what will I do when away from the computer.

Anywho been doing some snooping on the forums. One thread that caught my eye was catman's thread with Shannon posting about being more responsible. Which is a very strange coincidence because I was starting to read the 7 Habits again. And I'm still on the chapter that deals with responsibility. I even got answers to questions that had about responsibility. Scary
All I can say is that I am doing my best to put this to practice and it is difficult.....very difficult. What's strange is that you start to realize how much freedom you have. It's difficult to explain...... one of those things you have to do or at least try.

Optimus Engine may be the reason.

On the internet thing relapsed night but I'm not to worried just got to keep working at it. I know it's going to happen just got to figure out what went wrong and take it form there.

I highly recommend the following blogs, for you to read. It was one of my favorite blogs, I am very happy to read it. Exciting!.

Code:

zenhabits.net

Strange you post the blog link. I've been getting nudges to start mediating again. I have the mediation set that Shannon made so I'll use that.

I found out that using the internet is coping mechanism for when I'm feeling down. It sucks but now that I know I got to fix it. I know what you mean about being away from the computer awhile it's liberating.

Optimus Engine you say. You know I read about it but didn't really understand what it did so thanks for mentioning that. Now I know.

And thanks everyone for dropping by I appreciate it.

[Why So Serious?]

Well the last few days have been depressing. Everything feels hopeless.

I learned some more about myself and frankly I don't like it.
What I have learned is:

I have a fear of living my my own life with my own expectations
fear of being myself or to put it bluntly having my own personality, and fear of going out, Fear of being around people(that explains why I rarely out,even to visit family) I could go on, but it's not worth it. Seems to stem from one fear anyway.

Been pretty lazy because of it the last few days. Been playing lots of video games even though I'm bored out of my mind playing them. Been thinking about switching to OFGS or OF, but I think that's just resistance.

The best way I describe it is when someone tells their deepest, darkest secret ,and it disturbs you to the point you need time away from them. That's how I'm feeling about myself right now. It's just a lot to take in right now.

[apollolux]

Hopefully you'll find something during this time to show/remind you "it is achievable" whatever your "it" may be. Bon chance, Serious.

[Nox]

Well the last few days have been depressing. Everything feels hopeless.

I learned some more about myself and frankly I don't like it.
What I have learned is:

I have a fear of living my my own life with my own expectations
fear of being myself or to put it bluntly having my own personality, and fear of going out, Fear of being around people(that explains why I rarely out,even to visit family) I could go on, but it's not worth it. Seems to stem from one fear anyway.

Been pretty lazy because of it the last few days. Been playing lots of video games even though I'm bored out of my mind playing them. Been thinking about switching to OFGS or OF, but I think that's just resistance.

The best way I describe it is when someone tells their deepest, darkest secret ,and it disturbs you to the point you need time away from them. That's how I'm feeling about myself right now. It's just a lot to take in right now.

It might be for the best to switch to OF, OGSF or the new EPRHA 2.0, but if you do then do it because you want to. Not because you're looking to give up on what you want.

And uh... What video games?