Alpha to Omega: Ronatello's Alpha Journey

[ronatello]

The hardest kind of visualizations for me are actually having fun with women. I do practice going from meeting to screwing. The hardest part to visualize is all the stuff happening in between both those situations.

It's mine as well.

[WildFlower]

I may start yoga or tai chi soon

I highly, highly recommend Yoga. I've been taking lessons for about 6 months and it's one of the best commitments I've ever made to myself. The classes are 2 hours long each but they fly by in a second, I think you'd really enjoy it if you got a good teacher. The benefits are so numerous and far reaching I can't begin to describe them here.

[ronatello]

So far, stage 6 feels a lot like stage 5 at this point. I've been in a better mood as of late and people's negativity doesn't seem to affect me as much as it did before. I'm catching myself being friendlier to people in general (saying "hi" and stuff) and making more eye contact. I will probably catch the full brunt of Alpha Male 2010 once I complete stage 6 on the 4th of March... the scripts will take a while still to compile and install and then execute (computer geek stuff, I know. Deal with it! ).
And what I am about to write about may raise a few eyebrows but here goes...
I've been posting in the Playboy forums and also getting to know some of the models. And... it's actually easier than I thought. The majority of the models that I have spoken to are actually down to earth and not snobby (most would think that because they errantly attach a status to them just because they posed for, or are affiliated with Playboy). Thou shall not put p*ssy on pedestal! Playboy models are people too. Treat them as such!
And with that being said, I will also tease them just like I tease the Hooters girls I know. They are all the same!
It's going to be very interesting when I start SM later in March. Since I'm beginning to really open myself up and talk more instead of being a boring and shy wallflower, the rest of the year is bound to get crazy for me .
I'm catching more women giving me hot (but cautious) looks... like they will look right at me for a few seconds and I catch them and then they look away and smile. Uh-huh... busted!
My confidence is notching higher and higher and with that, I will be more able to open up and speak what's really on my mind. SM 2011 may help with that regard some and I know Alpha Male 2011 definitely will, when I start that late this year.
I had an interesting dream last night. It involved one of my nieces. In my dream, she was crying and sad because she had a breakup with her gf (one of my nieces is bi) and I told her her that she was probably acting too needy and stuff which didn't sit very well with her so I told her to back off and so on. It was an interesting dream to say the least.
Then the dream switched up and I was in the hospital doing my usual work and one worker (a she) that works in the CCU was walking down the hall. It was funny because she is a light skinned black and she had purple highlights in her hair and I was strangely attracted to her hair. We started talking and she was wanting me to kiss her. I kissed her on the cheek and my lips were so dry I couldn't kiss right. So I said hang on for a moment and I moisten them up and then kiss her again. Then the dream fades.
What a crazy night I had last night! lol

[Spiral]

Getchu a Playboy Model, Ronatello! Then invite me to the engagement party! haha

[ronatello]

@ Spiral: you never know what will happen. Put the fun vibe out no matter where you are. I find it easier and easier to flirt nowadays (hmm good affirmation, LOL).

[ronatello]

Weekly recap:
Not a whole lot to report. Maybe a bit of frustration like, wanting to say something but can't (a type of resistance maybe?). This week contained mostly stage 6 so the stages 1-5 are still compiling .
I'm a bit more flirty than normal (coming from increased confidence) so that's good. More of my dreams contain women nowadays. I had some bizarre ones last night and woke up and tried to remember some of them and I started chuckling (some are like WTF?). The last 2 days there have been 3 women in the apartment complex gym when I've been working out so I'm grateful for that. Not that I need them to be there but the company is sure nice.
I've been in a good mood pretty much all week.

[ronatello]

I didn't write a weekly recap last week so I'm recapping as of now... which will also serve as this weeks recap.
I'm feeling more indifference as of late. March 4th is coming up pretty quick which will be bon voyage for Alpha Male 2010 for me!
I feel much more comfortable flirting than I used to. I'm meeting more pretty women at the apartment complex gym on some days but I don't feel compelled to chase them or anything. Heck, I really can't be bothered with them anyways... let them come to me if they want.
I do have a rather clever kind of litmus test. I listen to the salsa / merengue music channel in the gym while I exercise. If I find that if any of the women are put off by the music, I see that as an automatic fail. But if they show interest in the music ie ask me about it or make comments about it, then it's a pass (I listen to it because I dance salsa and I listen to certain aspects of the rhythm (conga drums, claves, brass instruments, etc.) and visualize myself dancing to it at times.

[Spiral]

Thats the way to be Ron! Awesome stuff man.

[ronatello]

I will be closing out Stage 6 on the 4th of March and the feeling of indifference that I spoke of previously has increased more. For some reason, the "cold" feeling that I had towards women back in stage 1 and 2 has come back somewhat with some refinements... it's like I have no need to have women in my life whatsoever.
However, I still like interacting with them like at the salsa club for example but I haven't really come across any women as of late that I would like to have as a girlfriend, or what-have-you. I'm sure things will change when I finish Alpha Male and the "dust" settles.
As a side note, I probably inadvertently intimidated a guy trying to learn the salsa steps at the club the other night. I was showing him how to step to the beat and gave him a tip: if it's a fast tempo track, take smaller steps. Of course when I was demonstrating the steps, I was swaying my hips as I danced and of course he told me about that (he couldn't do the hip thing yet). He was still trying to pound out the steps while I was going along just fine, despite having consumed 1 coke+151 cocktail. He thanked me for showing him the steps and then he left. I felt kinda bad and awkward by that but got over it quick. Then of course I had to break in some new female salsa dancers as always...
The evening was interesting... it was a small crowd and the energy just wasn't there at the onset. It wasn't until 2 hours in when things got better (it goes to show that I must remain patient!).

[ronatello]

Not in a very good mood today.. it's just the cloudy and cold weather I guess. I'm just wanting alpha male 2010 to get over with .
I'm seriously thinking about not journalling the 2011 version (not to mention journalling on here period). Writing in this journal it seems to me is beginning to become a chore and a bit of a nuisance.
For those who have read and replied, I thank you for the feedback and some good advice. Keep it coming! But it has come to the point that I feel like I much branch out and do a MajorDomo (remember him?). So when I write my testimonial of Alpha Male 2010, I'm outta here.

[RainbowAbyss]

I don't understand the need for it to be an all or nothing thing,
why cant one just write when they feel like it and don't when they don't.
Hearing people's progress has been invaluable for me, and I feel it can help to
get whats going on in your head out in the open.
But I also understand wanting to come to closure with something and just be done with it and totally free, with space, for the next thing, so
I'm sad we wont get to hear your sex magnet reports but good luck with whatever is next,
when u leave of course

[Spiral]

Good luck, Ron. I respect your decision, man. I'd like to still keep in touch somehow.

[woceyes]

I too would like to keep in touch with you Ron. It will be sad to see you go but like spiral and Rainbow i respect your decision. Good luck and have fun man.

[Ryan]

Ron, you can't leave man, not going to happen. You leave, it sucks you right back in Weren't you one of the ones who mentioned this forum is better than sex? Haha. Seriously... Meet up sometime soon, you have to stick around

Ryan