Life Tune Up 3.1 Journal

[lokko]

day 57: Went clubbing, the cute girl had a thing with another guy so I didn't even try. Other girls smiled lots and I was all smiley and happy to. Overall the night was great had lots of positive vibes except with one of the securitys, he was one of the "I'm so cool, I know everybody here, don't mess with me" type of attitude. I could tell he was a real loser though, trying to get everyone's approval and shit. Yet acting like he's big time. Other then that had a great time. Didn't pick up any chicks all my friends were too drunk and I was taking care of them. We took a girl we know from work home, my friends doing her right now, and I didn't even bother joining, not my type of girl, especially since we work side by side. Other then that, hope it just keeps getting better.

[lokko]

day 58: Smoked Mj realized I still have paranoa but it's not only me, the people I was with had it too. They all understood what I was talking about, but yet if we didn't smoke it, they wouldn't have. I realized alot of subliminal things people do when I was on MJ. The games they play, the tests they try. I realized if I just didn't act like I wanted to then they would control me. I should be myself, not only myself but without fear, guilt or shame. I wish to take the great Ideas I have that comes up in my mind, focus on them and make money and a positive benefit of them. I hope LTU can help me achieve that.

[lokko]

Day 59: I was exhausted today, slept about 13 hours. Late I talk this one chick, we're going to hang out on wednesday. Told her to come over in the pastshe wasn't comfortable doing that the first time we met, so I didn't put effort in. I wasn't really interested in her so that's why I told her that. We stopped talking for awhile, then 2 days ago she messages me. We text for a bit then I stop responding. She text me again tonight and she asked what I wanted from us hanging out, I said fun, she assumed sex, which she was right but I never admitted. Just played it cool. She then mentioned she wants us to get to know eachother before anything like that. However in the past she sent me pics with her half naked almost. So I called her up and told her, her panties look wet and she was like but they're not, so i said walk your fingers to them and you'll see, she asked but why, I said she'd like it, she said how do you know, I said, cause you're a real girl who knows what feels right, barely made sense but she agreed and next thing you know were having fun sex. She was moaning and going crazy, playing with herself, told me she came such a long time. We talked some more, she then mentioned a sex list she came up with through reading erotic sex books, she wants to do all of them with me. I told her this is all just talk now. She said it was gonna be action, and I was like we'll see.

[lokko]

Day 60: Have this chick head over heels for me. I hardly agree to her standards and she listens to all mine. I have been imposing alpha trait status on her and seducing her. Been reading about Alpha like personalities today and when I used some, it worked to my advantage. Ltu allowed me to use these traits naturally and calmly. All in positive but dominant way. She hasn't ever met me in person but I already have her calling me "master" and "I'll do anything you want" of course this was in her horny state but eventually I will achieve this on all states. One thing I learnt about chicks is, they will forever test you for dominance. You must learn it till it's natural so you don't keep "trying" to be a certain way for a certain time, rather carry it with you.

[lokko]

Day 61: I'm become nicer and upfront, but in a positive way. I don't react to people's negativity, it takes alot, and by that point ill consciously tell myself to leave or ignore, or even say something to end it. Seeing the chick tomorrow that i've been recently talking to. She texts me lots, calls.. etc. She's wanting to call in sick for work tomorrow so she can spend the whole day with me. She mentioned a lot of times that she didn't want me to expect sex on the first date, but my motto is, Go with the flow, I told her, I don't know if we will or we wont but I'm the type to go with the flow, if you can't do that, I'll hang up and wont be a need for us to talk. She almost cried and said she's sorry for bringing that up. I'm feeling a sense of high value, and self esteem, if people don't fit right with me, I don't need to have them in my life. Of course some things will have to be mutual and agreed upon, but I'm more selective of everything these days and I like it.

[lokko]

day 62: Nothing special today. Didn't get to see this chick, her car had to go in the shop and I didn't want to pick her up. Will be seeing her on friday.

[lokko]

Day 63: I was at work, opening up with people alot more, starting conversations and making funny ones. There was this hot girl that works with me, I wanted to approach her but kept feeling resistance or didn't think it was the right time, finally, I just told myself go and I introduced myself and all was good. Anxiety towards girls I'm really attracted to diminish please ! haha

[jonathan4all]

Lokko do not quit it at least before 6 months. I am enjoying my life so well now. I think long term mental reprogramming is really beneficial. 6 months give u for sure a solid base. Best of luck .. so far enjoying your journey.. nice progress man .

[lokko]

Thanks for your kind words jonathan, didn't think anyone is really reading my journal, nice to know this. Honestly I'm so tempted to do am6 or the learning subs just because I feel like on some days I hit a plateu so I tell myself maybe I should go on to another sub now, but if I can commit to 6 months I believe I'll be permanetly changed for the better, so yeah I'll stick.

day 64: So the chick that I have been mentioning about these past few days, ended up not coming over, yet again found an excuse not to, this time her little brother hurt his finger at a soccer game, and had a cast and her brother supposedly asked her to stay home after the next day which I didn't believe. I gave her 3 chances and everytime she had an excuse, I'm sure either she was trying to make me try harder for her and make me want her badly or she didn't get permission from parents. Anyhow, I've blocked and deleted her off of everything and warned her if she had any other excuses for not showing up that she would get blocked and so she did. That's the end of that. I'm done with her because, if she has missed 3 chances for us to get together then imagine if I dated her, I'd constantly be let down by promises that werent kept. If this was the old me, I'd just say to myself, ah just keep her around even if it's for a one night stand, but no, no more chances, no more letting myself feel less valued. She had her chances and missed all. NEXT.

[JackOfHearts]

The same stuff happen to me at least 3 times, girl would be interested but they always find an excuse not to come. They are not worth the struggle, they are so low value that they are afraid of living. I talked to a girl which was always studying, one was always doing something else. In the end you end up being the asshole if you try too much.

I think there are either not attracted enough or they afraid of living their life. Or maybe there are really busy (can happen too)

[lokko]

yeah maniac it happens to everyone.


day 65: smoked mj again and I can see through people's thoughts. What I mean by that is, I can see their manipulation game. however I think it weakens the mind to greater knowledge. long story short I want to officially never use it again. As for LTU I have nothing to report, drank and smoked much that I really don't want to do much, except sleep.

[lokko]

Day 66: I hate that I feel like my life is going no where. I've felt so unmotivated...I have ideas, goals and I start working on them but after a few days or if I'm lucky weeks, I find something else that interests me and try that and lose track on what I originally set my mind to. I'm the biggest procastinator when it comes down to chores or goals. I create hype but if anything is missing or too much is needed to be done, I quit. I wanted a beachbody before summer and I haven't even started. I wanted to start back in school but don't feel motivated or ready, I fear I'll fail, cause I've tried and when it gets tough I get so behind that I don't know what's going on. I change jobs more then I change a pair of shoes. In one year I average about 5-6 different jobs. I have a bad memory..I learn something and after awhile I'll completely forget all about it. It doesn't get retained. Ah I feel a crises. I could go on and on.

[lokko]

Day 67: I'm kinda missing out on hours of exposure, today only got 6 hours, which usually I get a 8 hours the lowest. Average about 10. Feel a little better today, ran errands, got some things cleared off my chest, but still waiting on more positive outlook in life because it went back to negative this past week or so. Something is hitting me hard. Don't know what yet.

[lokko]

Day 68: I'm in a dilemma..I don't know what to do anymore...I want to find my perfect career but I'm so inconsistent with jobs it sucks. On thursday I'll be going to a temporary work position I was offered, and will be doing an interview with them. It's about an Over watch safety person, a entry level position to overwatch people going into confined spaces. If I take the job, with the overtime hours, i'll make about 4-5 grand in month. However it's about a month or two of work. Which I like since it's only that long. However I feel like after this job I'll be back to square one again. With no expertise in a real career. So having to rely on restaurant jobs or a sales job. I'm really interested in Internet marketing however I fear that I'll waste lots of time on it wont make money, and lets say I do, eventually one day I wont because the internet is always changing. It's a big risk. I might ask for a part time position at the restaurant I work at, so that I can work in this next job offer full time, make the money I need and then go back to full time restaurant and grow from there. Maybe If I do this, atleast I'll know Ill move up in the restaurant business, maybe get into management eventually and do that for a few years and if I find a different career path that's risky, I still have the "management" experience to go back to working in a restaurant. Sounds like a good plan, however I have to make a commitment to this which I'm really not good at, but honestly writing this stuff down makes me feel better, helps me release thoughts that I have boggled up that I may have not even known about, I feel like I'm learning more about myself. I don't know if this is LTU which is trying to clear up fears, and helping me consciously think about them or keeping a journal to read and understand my own thoughts. Awesome. Haha.