Darwin 2014 - The Alpha Year

[Darwinn]

As I write this AM6 is downloading; having used LTU3 for just over a month, it's not the ideal time to start. Nevertheless, I want to begin AM6 now, having read all that it has to offer, I know it's the right thing for me.

I'll document my experiences with AM6 here, and I'll aim to listen to it for on average 12 out of each 24 hours, with my first night being tonight.

Having been inspired by a number of programmes, including David Deangelo's 'on being a man', and alot of RSD's material on self development online, not to mention my new found fascination with faster eft (thanks again Geodude) I will be supplementing these subs with daily affirmations, and lots of feft tapping.

My first and foremost aim, is to beat my ADHD, and build a solid core of earned confidence and self esteem - and I will measure my improvements by looking externally; at how I'm doing at work, how my dating life improves, and how my family and business life improves and internally; by looking at how unshakeable I am, how content in my own skin and devoted own values I am.

LTU3 is a 6 month programme which I have only used for just over a month, and it's already brought me quite a distance from where I was, which was frankly, in a pit! heavens knows where It would have taken me after 6 months. however the allure of AM6 is too great, and what I really want is contained in this sub.

Starting now, I will be looking to finish around mid-late June. Knowing how I am, it is very likely that I will go through more than one run through, but lets see!

[Jakeb203]

Hey,

Good to hear that you are starting AM6 in the upcoming year.

Can I please know how you practice FasterEft? Like the websites you go & the instructions you follow. I am a newbie to this and want to start practicing as well.

Thanks,

Jake

[Darwinn]

Hey man, I learnt a lot from geodudes posts and them by checking videos on faster eft on YouTube!

Best of luck

[Darwinn]

Stage 1 Day 4

In all honesty I don't understand what's happening. ive been behaving differently that's for sure though I don't know if this is a hangover from LTU3 or from my Am6 exposure.

On New Year's Eve for instance, some guy kept trying to pick a fight with me, I was completely calm, no fear no anger, I honestly wanted to know what his problem was and how we could resolve it. It was really strange, my friends were freaking out and wanting to punch him, my attitude was verging on ridiculous, saying I'm happy to go outside with you and sort this out with a dust up but first lets understand what the problem is.

I've been content, taking pleasure in my surroundings and what I have, getting almost giddy at times, my friends kept saying "man you're so happy", and I'm pretty sure it wasn't in an annoying way, I was just really enjoying myself.

The thought crops up again and again that I don't really need anyone so I don't have to put up with bullshit, even from those closest too me, I've read that this happens but didn't expect it so soon, I also have a general feeling that things are going to be ok, I just need to focus on myself.

This morning I'm feeling somehow anxious and sad. Earlier felt almost teary, like I was in a glass case of emotion haha, after having so many bouts of depression in the last few years it doesn't phase me so much, it's like having a sneezing/coughing fit - maybe at least my years of depression can serve me that way

[Darwinn]

My reading continues and I have decided to add in a number of behaviours.

I want to incorporate a daily meditation/yoga practice along side a quitting of the fap. Some guys on this forum have said that pmo has been a major factor in creating depression, anxiety and a pack of focus; and I know that I always feel shitty after, so I will try to give it up for a while, see if I can go to 90 days.

Yoga and my morning affirmations will also be important in helping me to maintain a well operating noggin so I will do that as well.

I've been watching the first part of David deangelos man transformations again and again and I have to say I'm incredibly impressed. The concept of making success inevitable is really strong, subs do that, you can't help but think the right/necessary thoughts for success.

Ok here goes nothing.

[Darwinn]

stage 1 day 6

As far as anyone else is concerned this will be entirely unremarkable - but yesterday i actually went out and...

wait for it....

Saw a movie!

The reason for this being a noteworthy event? I realised half way through I was actually enjoying it, and what's more, iti had been a very long time before I genuinely enjoyed anything at all. I tend to operate purely from a place of fear, so either I'm afraid of something going wrong, like not being able to make good conversation, friends dissing me, getting screwed at work or whatever, or i'm just numb/relieved because a fear didn't come to the fore.

It was interesting to note that I was with a friend after and we were hanging out, normally i'd be trying to be entertaining, and make good conversation but i realised when he started making pretty lame conversation that i hadn't thought about it at all, i was just in the moment feeling content, walking along.

hmm what else

I'm in trouble at work for a few reasons. My manager spoke to me about it and I had a flutter of anxiety, but then I just thought whatever, screw it, I'll fix it, and if i can't i can't.


Its a little crazy to reflect just how much of my life revolves around approval seeking, and fear of how i look in front of people. I would love to eradicate this - it'll free up so much of my mind for more useful things.

I did my affirmations first day yesterday - I have to say I felt pretty goofy, standing in front of my mirror doing them, it made me wonder whether it was really for me. I'll continue to give them a try.

Aside from athat not much more going on, apart from me walking around all day like a lunatic with earplugs in all day every day, i guess part of me wants to get as much exposure as possible, given what i've read about the first phase - i really want to try and clear as much shit as possible so i can have a solid foundation for the rest of this transformation.

Hoping for and expecting great things.

[Shannon]

It sounds like you're doing really well with it so far.

[Benjamin]

Good start man.. it'll just get better!

-Ben

[Darwinn]

Thanks guys. Today I've been trying to tap away all my procrastination and get up to speed on work, all that's happened is precisely nothing. I haven't done shit and i'm not even frustrated because for some reason I'm so damn tired. Like my whole body is whacked out - maybe I've over done it on the subs and need to reduce my listening time!

[Fonzy3]

Thanks guys. Today I've been trying to tap away all my procrastination and get up to speed on work, all that's happened is precisely nothing. I haven't done shit and i'm not even frustrated because for some reason I'm so damn tired. Like my whole body is whacked out - maybe I've over done it on the subs and need to reduce my listening time!

Tap on that.

Practice and you get more of the hang of it. You can measure this by the reduced negative self talk. Soon you'll notice that anything during the day that bothers you, you can release with ease, and get full awesome affects of subliminals.

Thanks

Fonzy

[AeJe]

I tend to operate purely from a place of fear, so either I'm afraid of something going wrong, like not being able to make good conversation, friends dissing me, getting screwed at work or whatever, or i'm just numb/relieved because a fear didn't come to the fore.

THIS is a huge breakthrough, bruv!

most of the earth population operate and live their lives from a place of fear and make decisions based on it.

i am one who have been trained to flush fear out, that it has no place since FEAR is THE ROOT of all evil.

so, cheers to you, bruv!

i spit at fear. *yawn*

[Darwinn]

Thanks guys, Yeah man, fk fear. I was walking by one of my bosses today, she totally ignored me; rather than be butt hurt and scared that I'd done something wrong, my immediate thought was - whatever, same with a meeting today - tremendous anxiety normally, today didn't feel it!

I'm not afraid of screwing up or getting in trouble - it would be unpleasant and in undesireable but I'd prefer not to walk around miserable and anxious even if it does get me to work harder, so I'm learning to work because that's what I want to do rather than because I'm scared.

This is of course all new. Jesus I want it to be at the end of 6 months already, fk that 12 months for the second run through to see who I will be then.

Continuing with the program, at night I have it playing on repeat from my phone which connects to a Bluetooth speaker, I can hear the high pitch squeak so I assume it's loud enough, only problem is I'm finding it hard to sleep!

Speaking of which, off to sleep - up for early morning yoga and affirmations.

[Darwinn]

I feel abit cocky so this is a digital knock on wood so I don't jinx myself, have to remember that I'm a week in, the road ahead is long my friends, long indeed.

[Darwinn]

Day 11

Things have been positive - which concerned me a little since i was guessing that more depression means that more is getting worked on.

but today..today i feel awful

I haven't been able to sleep, and its showing at work, just made a complete fool of myself at a big meeting - like i have officially ruined my reputation by answering questions in a retarded way.

Now this is interesting - previously when things like this has happened, I've spiralled into absolute misery and dispair, hating myself completely. Right now i'm really forgiving myself. I know I have insomnia, of course i can't function well without any sleep - so of course i'm giong to look stupid. What's more, when I'm done with this programme, in a year, two, whatever and I'v turned it all around, it's going to me even more enjoyable when people see what my progress.