Shannon's BAMM 2.0 Journal

[mat422]

It doesn't help when women ridicule you for being weak when you express your emotions or pain.

And yet a lot of women want men to be more emotional. Once guys show that to them they tend to run the other way. Anyway, glad to see you are moving past that fear and getting better.

[AbiDrew85]

It doesn't help when women ridicule you for being weak when you express your emotions or pain.

And yet a lot of women want men to be more emotional. Once guys show that to them they tend to run the other way. Anyway, glad to see you are moving past that fear and getting better.

Oh hell no. Any woman who doesn't REALLY TRULY appreciate it when you express yourself more openly ain't a girl you ought to bother yourself over. She doesn't probably really care about YOU but only what you can give her, either materially or in bed or both.

I can assure you that if I'm ever with a guy who doesn't feel he can express himself to me I'll probably start wondering where I'm going wrong that he doesn't trust me. And I reallllly don't think I'll run the other way when he opens up.

As long as he's constructive about it. I'm self-destructive enough for an entire army, I really don't need to be in a relationship with someone just like me. And I'm trying to work on that. If I were to be with someone who's not even trying to be uplifting... They'd probably wind up dragging me back down.

But whatever... I'm not even on the market really atm. I'm waay too involved in trying to make myself into someone worthy of someone else right now to afford the time for a boyfriend.

[Sean]

It doesn't help when women ridicule you for being weak when you express your emotions or pain.

And yet a lot of women want men to be more emotional. Once guys show that to them they tend to run the other way. Anyway, glad to see you are moving past that fear and getting better.

Many women want you to excite their emotions, not share yours.

[Shannon]

Shannon, I'm curious about what you think about fame.
Is it something you're looking for?

What do I think about fame. Hmmm. Well... if it's useful then I like it. If not, I can do without it. Am I looking for it? Not really. Will I eventually have it? I'm sure that to some degree I will, if things keep going the way they are with my R&D. But we shall see.

I can do without the negatives that it brings, though.

[ncbeareatingman]

Shannon's response;
RE: BAMM Journal
(03-13-2013 04:31 PM)Shannon Wrote:
THolt, the program doesn't limit you in any way. It sets the minimum achievement at "multi-millionaire" and then gives you everything you need (besides action and actually making the necessary choices and decisions) to get there, and go as far as you want.

Keith Response; even with MY descions Shannon and MY actions BAMM has defintely influenced MY subconscious Mind as well as MY conscious choices and the directions MY Life is taking including the Optimus Engine programming & Effects,alike. To Me thats INcluded in BAMM as well. I KNow I still have MY Part in it,but I wouldnt be moving in the direction Im moving in were it not for BAMM and ALL the things happening,powerful,overt and subtle as well as influencing my choices,views and decsions alike. Needed to say that comment on all of that. I Know you cant cover every single thing Shannon and write an entire book in response to people's questions but thats MY deal with all of the abouve. thanx. Keith.

[Shannon]

It's very much like swimming in the mighty Mississippi river. And being pulled downstream by it... inevitably... toward a goal.

[ncbeareatingman]

INdeed it is Shannon INdeed it is...thank you Keith.
Ohhhh I sent Andrew an e-mail requesting that part of MY journal be transfered over to start a New BAMM journal...the part of MY journal that starts from the 16th of March up until Now...thats when I started utilizing BAMM... simple titled Keith's BAMM journal. Maybe Ben can handle that I dont know,but I put in a request for it today. thnx. Keith. time to move to the new wealthier neighborhood.
Keith.

[Shannon]

Welcome aboard, Keith.

And now my latest BAMM report. Not much I can see outwardly happening lately... it's been deep internal work, and it feels like part of me has withdrawn from my normal conscious awareness to do this deep development. So it's not like nothing's happening, it's like there's nothing there... very odd. But I continue to work on it.

Over the last month and a half I have noted that I am eating differently. While I was going out to eat, I started eating salads... usually antipasto salads. I never ate salads before. When I was forced by taxes to contract my spending to minimum, I couldn't do that anymore, and then a few days ago I realized I had started drinking V8. I never drank V8 before... always hated it. Now, though, I have discovered a few additions that make it delicious, and I guess whatever it is that had me eating salads is now substituting V8.

So what do I add to make it taste good? in 64 ounces of V8 regular, I add 1 level teaspoon of salt and 24 shakes of Tabasco Original hot sauce. MMmmmmmmmmmm. Yummy.

[THolt]

What stage are you on currently.

[Shannon]

Stage 5.

[Spiral]

Slowly but surely I am finding the solutions.

I worked so hard today that 4 hours after I woke up from 14 hours of deep sleep, I was exhausted again, but I pushed through. There's a little more work to do before I can begin actually building AM 6.0, but I should be finished with that work by tomorrow.

Quoted from your Closed vip journal..

I feel the same way after 8 hours of being at work working my ass off. Even earlier today (Saturday) I decided to take a nap but didn't fall asleep. I caught myself right before I fell asleep and it was like I wasn't really tired or missed out on any sleep. Instead of "pushing through" you could pretend to take a nap and trick your body... and then wake up right before you pass out so it's like your body rested and so does your mind but you don't wake up feeling like a train hit you. It's worked for me so far... have been sleeping well.. and sometimes I need a nap.. but then I don't acutally nap.. finally it's like I did nap. Quite interesting..

[Shannon]

I have found the ways to deal with my exhaustion usually include focusing in a different direction, defocusing completely, and waiting for my circadian rhythms to cycle up again. I'm trying to force myself onto a normal sleep schedule lately. Yesterday I got up at 6 am, today it was 5 am. I prefer waking up at 6 am unless I'm going to be doing an early morning photoshoot. Early morning natural light is my favorite in which to work, bar none, but I don't like getting up at 4 am.

I can also meditate - that is, turn my body off and still my mind without losing consciousness; that helps with rest, but I might as well sleep at that point.

Yesterday what I did to push through the first time was I got in my car and drove to Lola's Seafood Eatery and had lunch. That evening, I had another downcycle, so I got in my car and drove to the grocery store, did some minor grocery shopping (Andrew style vegetable soup kicks some serious ass) and then went to get a pizza at my favorite pizza place.

Both times, when I arrived home, I was ready to keep going. Can't sleep in public, now can I.

BAMM seems to be doing some interesting, but very deep, very subconscious shifts in this stage... I am becoming much more confident in myself fear/guilt/shame continues to fade, and I seem to be emerging from something as if shedding another old skin and becoming someone new, something better, stronger, more mature, more capable. It's very subtle, but I can see it.

I feel more and more powerful.

Yesterday I was at the grocery store and I encountered a very beautiful woman who looked like one of my ex girlfriends who was a half Japanese lingerie model, only this woman had freckles. The effect was not just stunning, but captivating. She was with a man who was very obviously her husband, but I walked over and opened her and asked if she was half Japanese anyway, without even thinking about it. That amazed me. Normally I wouldn't do that. After analyzing in my head what part of the script made me respond that way, it occurred to me that I could make a 5G MaxSpeed version of the Overcoming Approach Anxiety sub and trigger the same results.

Then on the way home I started getting depressed because it's so hard to meet single women here. I have literally met only 4 in the last 3 years. But then something inside me said... f*ck this, I don't want to be depressed. So I went out and treated myself to pizza and that made me feel much better.

I like that response. The refusal to sink into depression also very much surprised me. Usually I don't have that response (depression) except to rare emotional traumas, and it hits me hard enough that I basically have no choice but to just go to bed and sleep it off. But this time, I basically said... I can't work in this state... and I can't go to bed this early and be on schedule... and there's no way in HELL I'm gonna sit around feeling like THIS all night... so... f*ck this, I'll go make myself feel better.

I'm impressed.

[Shannon]

BAMM is changing me. As I become more and more free of guilt, shame and mostly fear, I find myself reacting to my own desires and life in general differently. For one, I am starting to take charge more and do what it takes to achieve what I want. The most dramatic way this is showing up in my life is in how I deal with women now. I used to be avoidant about asking women out, I think because I didn't know how to go about it very well. Now, if I'm interested and she passes muster after some observation, I'll just ask if she's single, and if she is, just tell her I think we should go out. It's no big deal to me anymore. I genuinely don't care if she accepts or declines, but I am putting it out there that I am interested and I think we should do something about it.

It used to frustrate me that women were willing to die before approaching a man. Now I just accept that they're expecting a dominant man to be the leader, so I lead. The first time I did this, a few days ago, I was following my gut (which told me that a woman I had been observing was now single) and when I suggested we go out on a date, she seems to have responded well. We shall see what happens, but I don't have any horses in the race, so to speak, so regardless, I'm happy because I did what it took to let her know I am interested and what I think we should do about it. If she's interested in return, and we hit it off, great. If not, next. But I did my part, and that makes me happy.

Today I walked into a restaurant and the hostess was a lovely blonde girl I have been observing. She's very, very attractive to me, but not in a conventional sense. Her appeal is her sexy, almost sultry sensuality, which she exudes almost palpably. She is neither skinny nor big, but has softness and curves in the right places and proportions to make her very womanly. This is the sort of woman who speaks, understands and appreciates the language of touch, and whom one could make love to all night without ever saying a word while communicating volumes back and forth with through eye contact, kisses and caresses.

Tonight when I walked in, she smiled broadly and genuinely at me, which is unusual. Until I started talking to her last time I was there, she was polite, but never more than superficial. So when she greeted me with this genuine smile of pleasure at seeing me, I greeted her back by name. She was taken aback that I remembered her name, and said so. To which I replied that yes, I remembered her name, I tend to do that with beautiful women. Which she seemed to really appreciate. When I left, she was gone.

I would bet big money she's taken. But I am going to make it known to her in no uncertain terms that not only do I find her attractive, but I am interested, and leave it at that. No need to infringe, but I will make her understand that I'm interested. Perhaps one day she'll be single and receptive, if she knows.

One of my biggest issues all this time seems to have been having the courage to communicate what I think about certain things, such as when I am attracted to a woman. Now... meh, no big deal. I have no expectation that my doing so will have any effect, impact or particular result, and I don't do it because I expect or am attached to any particular outcome. I now express myself because I have nothing to lose and everything to gain by doing so, and I don't have time to waste waiting for a woman to get off her ass and approach me. Which will never happen, because they're all completely convinced that they can't or shouldn't do that, or they're expecting a dominant man to lead in that front.

Okay. Well, here it is.

I have also noticed that I am dressing up a lot more, and I enjoy the way it feels to do so. It fits my current level of self respect, and I notice it gets me significantly different treatment too. Women smile at me a lot more now, people make exceptions for me, I get compliments on how nice I look, women show a lot more interest, and I have people going out of their way to accommodate me. For instance, I had to go to Wal Mart today to buy a new phone charger, and there was a line even at the self checkout. I stood waiting a moment, and then the woman who was observing and running the four self checkouts called me over to check me out herself. She didn't make that effort for any of the people in front of me in line, several of whom had single items also. But for me, she did it, and she was very pleasant and respectful while doing so.

I am typically the best dressed man wherever I go now, and usually by a wide margin. It makes a difference.

Gentlemen, I highly recommend it. "Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man." - ZZ Top

[AbiDrew85]

Actually, I don't know about any other girls, but what I like seeing most in a guy is confidence. Cleanliness is important too, but situational. When getting dirty becomes necessary, I might find it cute if you're squeemish, but I certainly don't find it attractive.

So if dressing sharp is part of your confidence, then yeah. Dress sharp. Do whatever it takes to keep your confidence high. Because that's what we REALLY like seeing.